Punk Rock Attitude and Hopeless Hair

Feelings

Frank's pov

Gerard's been back at the home for about three weeks. He hasn't talked to anyone but me, when he did talk to me it was quiet and short. We didn't have full conversations that much, maybe once in a while.

I don't think Gerard remembers what Bert did. He seems a little more open around me. He doesn't flinch when I tough him and he shares more. He likes talking about bands and comics, we're both comic nerds.

"Frankie?" Gerard said softly as we laid in the middle of his room staring up at the ceiling. We did that a lot, the silence is nice and peaceful.

"Yeah?" I said in an equally soft voice.

"Am I normal?"

That question shocked me, why would he ask that? He doesn't need any medication anymore, well he takes antidepressants but that's it.

"Yeah, you are normal, Gee. Why do you ask?" I said and propped myself up on my elbow so I could look him in the eyes.

"I don't know, I just... I-I feel weird when I'm around you." He said as he looked up at me.

"Oh... How do you feel?" My heart was racing now, Gerard has feelings for me?!

"I-I feel all warm and happy and... And I just want to be with you every second of the day..." Gerard said, his cheeks blushed fifty shades for red as he spoke.

"I feel the same way." I said with a smile. Gerard loves me, oh my God Gerard feels the same way!

"R-really?" He asked and sat up, his legs crossed with his hands on his knees.

"Yeah, I do..." I said and rested my hand on his. He blushed again and ducked his head away. I cupped his face gently and pulled his gaze back to me. His eyes widened as he stared at me, a blush still graced his cheeks.

I ran the pad of my thumb over his lips, his eyes never leaving mine. Someone just had to interrupt our amazing moment as they knocked on the door.

"Gerard, dinners ready." Riley called from the hallway before opening the door. Her eyes widened when she saw me and Gerard sitting in the middle of his room on the floor. "Oh Frank, I didn't know you were in here... Well dinners ready."

We nod and waited for Riley to leave, I hopped up and helped Gerard up. He smiled at me, not taking his hand from mine as we made our way to the dinning room.

Lucifer greeted us with soft yips, his tail was wagging so much that his whole body was shaking. Gerard patted his head and sat down next to me.

We all began to eat, Gerard picked at his food, it's better than nothing. The phone rang making him jump. I gave him a reassuring smile before he started to eat again. Riley got up and answered the phone.

"Hello? Yes this is her.... Oh, I see.... I don't think that would be a good idea, he's just started to get better.... On Monday? Yes, Gerard will be here..."

My heart stopped, someone's coming to see Gerard? Who? Why? What do they want to talk about? Gerard noticed my behavior and gave me a small smile. I smiled back and started to eat again.

"Kelly... I know, but he's been doing so good... I don't think you should talk about Bert... Gerard might have a break down... Okay, I understand." Riley hung the phone up before sitting at the table.

We all ate in silence, Jamie and Linsey were the first to leave, followed by Bob. Gerard stopped eating awhile ago, he was just waiting for me.

"Hey Gerard?" Riley said softly, Gerard looked up at her, the kitchen light made his eyes glow. "Can we talk for a while?" Riley asked, Gerard looked between me and Riley nervously before nodding.

I got up, telling Gerard that I had to do homework. He looked at me hopelessly before I left. I acted like I was going upstairs then I hid behind a corner.

"How have you been feeling?" Riley asked.

"Good, my medication makes me tired."

"Have you remembered anything new?"

"What do you mean?" Gerard asked, he sounded very confused.

"Remember when I told you that you had memory lost because you hit your head?"

I saw Gerard slowly nod and bit his lip, his head hung low. He looked really upset about what Riley was saying.

"Have you had any flashbacks or do you have dreams about what happened in the passed?"

Gerard stayed silent for a very long time. Riley waited passionately as they sat in silence.

"Yes..."

"What were they about?"

"I-I don't wanna talk about it..." Gerard said in a weak voice.

"We can help you Gerard, just tell me what they were about."

"T-they always have t-this man in them... I-I'm locked in a room... T-there's no way out, I-I'm trapped. T-the man does stuff to me... A-and I c-can't stop h-him." Gerard sobbed into his sleeves.

"Shh Gerard, it's okay... Just breath." Riley said softly as Gerard shook.

"H-he would g-get drunk, h-he would c-cut me with the broken b-beer bottles... Make it go away! I don't want them talking to me!" Gerard sobbed and hit his head against the table. Riley held him back so he couldn't hurt himself anymore.

I wanted to take Gerard away from all the bad. I wanted to run in there and hold him in my arms, help him to stop crying. Make feel better, make him forget all the bad things that happened to him.

But I didn't, I ran up to my room and shut the door. I couldn't see Gerard like that, I'm a coward. I couldn't even help the one person that I cared about. I couldn't even comfort him, not at all.

I'm so fucking stupid, I'm such a fucking cowered. Grow some fucking balls Frank.