Punk Rock Attitude and Hopeless Hair

It Fucking Hurts

(Trigger warning)

Frank's pov

"Thats Gerard, the cluelessly adorable emo?" Kellin asked as when we were out of hearing rang from Gerard.

"That's Gerard." I said as I watched Gerard sit down at a booth and look out the window, the suns light coming from behind the clouds made him look so perfect.

"Oh my god, he's so adorable!" Kellin squealed making me always so energetic. "Are you guys dating yet? I wish Vic would as my out. I've been living with him for  past few months." Kellin said in a rush, I just shook my head.

"Just promise that you won't be too overbearing. Gerard is really jumpy and he's really nervous to be around people." I said as me and Kellin walked over back to Gerard, he was still staring out the window. "Hey Gee." I said causing him to look at me and Kellin, he smiled shyly at me.

Kellin made us two large black coffees on the house and slid into the booth on the opposite side of my and Gerard. We were  only ones in the shop so Kellin could sit with us, Gerard sipped his coffee quietly as Kellin talked about school.

"Miss.Van is a bitch, she won't stop hounding me about the paper I turned in a week ago, she said I didn't turn it in. Maybe if she didn't spend so much time yelling at us she would be about to find my paper." Kellin huffed before chugging the rest of his drink, I nodded and looked over at Gerard who was looking at me, he blushed  and looked  down. I caught him staring at me, I grinned and looked  over at Kellin who winked. 

After talking to Kellin for a while longer me and Gerard left, waving at Kellin as we walked down the sidewalk. Lucifer led the way home, the sky was covered with gray clouds that gave the whole world a gray tint. 

I noticed that Gerard kept looking at me and every time that I looked over at him he would blush and look down. We got home and kicked our shoes off, Riley greeted us as she made dinner, Bob was at a friend's house, Linsey and Jamie were at a birthday party or something. 

"How was it?" Riley asked Gerard as we sat at the table.

"Fun, Kellin said hi." I said with a grin, Gerard nodded and started picking at his salad, better than nothing. 

~~~~~

"Frankie?" Gerard whispered softly from the doorway, I could see his outline from the lighting that was clashing outside with the raging storm. 

"Yeah?" 

"C-can I sleep w-with y-you?" Gerard squeaked the last part as thunder shook the whole house.

"Yeah." I said and scooted over making room for Gerard, I pulled  the covers back as he scrambled into bed. He whimpered softly as more thunder shook the house, he was shaking so hard that I could feel it through the bed. 

A particularly lousy clash of thunder sounded like it was right outside my window made Gerard wrap his arms tightly around my waist pressing his face against my chest. He shook even harder against me, I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him closer against me.

"Shh Gee, it's okay." I said softly and ran my hand through is hair, his grip tightened as the storm raged on.

"I-I hate t-thunder storms." Gerard whispered against my chest.

"Yeah, just sleep, I'm here." I said softly.

"I'm afraid that if I fall asleep you won't be here when I wake up."

"I'll always be here, I'm not leaving you." I said, Gerard pulled away a little so he could look at me. Tears streamed down his face as he stared up at me with his big golden brown eyes.

"I'm so scared, Frankie... I wan't to let people in but I'm scared. Y-you're the first person that I've let in for such a long time. Why did you guys have to bring me to the hospital?" Gerard asked quietly, we never told him how he ended up there, or why he lost some of his memory, and why he had stitches on his wrists.

"It's because you tried to kill yourself..." I whispered quietly, Gerard gripped my shirt tightly and shook his head.

"It's not been the first time... I'm so worthless... So stupid..."

"No you're not, stop, saying those things." 

"Do you know w-what it's like to be used, t-to be forced to d-do things... He told me I was a failure when-when I failed to kill my self... H-he said it was too worthless to die, I-I..." Gerard sobbed, he scrambled off the bed and onto the ground.

"Gee, shh, hey it's okay now." I said and hopped off the bed to comfort him.

"It's not okay, it will never be okay, I'm such a bad person, I'm so worthless. Why do you even care, why!?" Gerard yelled as thunder shook the house, his voice barley heard over the clash, he sat on his knees.

"Because I fucking love you, Gerard!" I said, his mouth hung open as he stared up at me. "I've loved you so for so fucking long and it fucking hurts when you're like this. I wish I could take all your fucking pain away, I want you to be happy, I want you to see how beautiful you are."

I wrapped my arms around him, holding him as close as I could, I could feel his heart beat through his sweater. His body heat radiated off of him in waves, his arms slowly wrapped around my neck, holding me as close as I was to him.

"I-I love you too..." Gerard whispered, my heart skipped a beat when he said those words, that's all I wanted to hear.

|-/

The chapter title was misleading in some ways, haha, hope you liked it.