Broken Walls

[!] Not an Update: Depression [!]

Hello lovelies!

How are you readers feeling today? I hope all of you had a wonderful weekend and not face Monday's blues when it is over. It is practically Tuesday in my timezone as I write, so Monday's blues has passed. Yours will be over soon, not to worry. Weekend will be here again in a blink of an eye, so lets face the remaining weekdays with positivity. Yes?

The topic I'd like to talk about briefly here is about depression. Below are some parts from an article I found online to explain what depression really is, and it resonate to what a dear friend of mine is dealing with.

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Depression is overwhelmingly painful to deal with, and not many knows how it affects one's life significantly. For example, while it seems that people most commonly use the term to express fleeting feelings of sadness or disappointment, depression is actually a chronic physical illness with symptoms that are mostly invinsible. It's an exasperating disease to live with because being sad or frustrated or sleepless or numb for long, repetitive periods of time is exhausting – especially when you can't prove to anyone that you're really sick.

Even if your depression is manageable enough for you to leave the house, it can affect everything in your life.

It can interfere with your productivity, or even just the way you seem to your superiors at work – which has consequences for your performance reviews and ultimately the stability of your employment.

It can make your loved ones and friends want to be around you less because many people dislike the kind of negativity depressed people can become steeped in.

In its worst form, depression can lead to death. It's a serious and draining disease to live with.

In a broad sense, fortunately, having depression doesn't make you quite the social pariah it used to.

Just like you can't stop a headache with the power of your mind, most of us with depression are stuck with our symptoms, even if we are managing our depression with medication or other techniques.

While it's wonderful that we've begun to fight the misinformation and prejudice surrounding depression, we've got a ways to go when it comes to compassionately and lovingly treating people with depression like they have a serious disease.

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A dear friend of mine is currently facing a tough time with her life, and I feel the need to speak out about this because the thing that happened to her makes her fall into a deep depression. It breaks my heart when she mentioned that not many understands how it is consuming her slowly, how it affects her social life especially with friends. Here's a public personal letter for you, my friend. It is a little bit TLDR for some of you, so you may skip it if you want to.

My dearest beloved friend Qay,

I do not know if you'll be reading this or not, since you mentioned that you'll be leaving social media for a while (I am still devastated over this you know. How dare you leave me!), but I'll say it regardless. Qay, I love you dearly you weirdo! We might have been newly acquainted for over a couple of months, but I feel like we've known each other longer than that. I think your theory about us being bestfriends in our past lives might be true, no matter how lame you made it up to be. I swear, your theory is so fucking lame I still cry at it. LOL.

You never fail to cheer me up when I'm down for having a writer's block (which sucks big time!), despite I should be the one doing that for you. I don't believe you when you mentioned people don't find you that hilarious like I do. I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT. They are the weird ones for not cracking up, not me! You know why? It is because your jokes are so fucking lame and stale, you left me in stitches (not Shawn's Stitches, mind you cause his is sad while yours are entertaining. Get me? No. Okay. Oh lord, did I just make a lame joke? SEE WHAT YOU DID TO ME!) When we meet up like we promised we would, lets hunt for that non-existent How Not To Crack Lame Jokes For Dummies book for you, and we'll go through together.

Thank you for all the delicious food spam, you glutton of a human. Thank you for constantly reminding me how broke-ass I am when you made me watch all the food videos. I love you, but I hate you too sometimes. How dare you ignite this gluttonous side of me that I don't even know of its existence? You did this to me! You need to be responsible for it by going for a food adventure together one day, either in Malaysia or Singapore. We are only separated by a bridge anyway, not forgetting just mere hundreds of miles away (cue to play sad violin song in the background). Why do you live so far away?!

On a serious note, I honestly just want you to acknowledge what a wonderful person you are Qay. What an amazing amazing amazing wonderful human being you are. For the past months we bonded, I can feel how loving and caring you are. You never fail to listen to my problems, showering me with advices on them and just ....... be there for me when no one else would. Yes, we both are at that stage of life where our long time friends start to become strangers as life gets to us and you came into my life like a beacon in the dark (see what I did there?), and I will forever be grateful for that. Your soothing words touch parts of my soul and they give me a sense of hope when I thought there wasn't any for them. Thank you Qay, thank you so very much.

Qay, please know that you're very loved by your family and little old me. I wish I could fly to where you are and offer you a fake Camila koala-hug (I bet hers is more comfortable but hey, don't you dare complain!) and just be there for you while you face this difficult time. I wish you can give me the chance to help you like how you helped me. Please don't shut everyone out ........ please. Please please please don't shut me out :((

Please, lets go through this together.  Don't make me fly to Korea and drag your future husband Tae Joon for it, cause I swear I WILL. That is if I know how to, but I WILL. I will drag his ass and make him propose to you! (Wait what?) As ridiculous as it sounds, I WILL.

I love you babe.

Please be okay. 

Please let people in.

Please let me in, Qay.

I love you friend.

I love you very much.

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My dearest readers, if you have friends who are facing depression, please reach out to them. Depression isn't a light matter;  it can lead someone to do unthinkable actions when they see no way out of being depressed. Please please please, reach out to them. Be there for them, talk to them. Don't baby them, no. But treat them delicately as these people are so fragile, they'll shatter even at a slightest of hatred for their actions. Shower them with love until they see that they're worth the affection they're given. It'll help to soothe their pain away. Trust me. 

 I'm sorry. I didn't think I'll get that emotional. It just hurts me when a dear friend of mine is facing tough time and I can't do anything to help. I want to reach out for her but ......... God, I feel so helpless guys. So damn helpless.

Much love,

BloomsBelle.