The Randomness Of Isabel Magnolia

I want to ESCAPE

Sorry for the inconvinience. Everyone.

This may or may not be the last time I'm writing so please listen...well...read.

Recently, I am having panic attack stronger and more often than usual.

I know I shouldn't be writing right now and doing this, even logging in here on Wattpad. My parents actually told me not to touch my phone.

But I remembered that it was this app/website and animé that made me survive before. Believe it or not. These two's impact on me isn't just as a program, or an animation, or a fiction. But it was a reason for me. To look forward to it, and everyday, waiting for updates or new episodes made me strive to continue living.

And then living/roleplaying as Isabel Magnolia was fun. But I realized I was fooling my self.

Because I will never be her. She doesn't exist. As much as I want to believe she does. Admit it, she doesn't. When this thought crossed my mind. There, it happened again. The fear I thought left me, returned.

I tried to keep inside the circle of friends I have in here. Keeping updated. But somehow, I can't be Isabel like before. I became lousy on the roleplaying, and I can't even think like her.

So...I don't know if I would still be able to live here.

But I sure hope that when I decide to come back, you guys, who I know and know me, my friends that think I am also their friends, will still accept me and be here.

It's selfish, but it's worth the risk...

Thank you for reading...

And see you?