A Little More Time

Making Him Home

"As crazy as it may sound to those who haven't experienced it, the one thing that soulmates always say is that when they found 'the one', they just knew. Call it 'love at first sight' or just a moment of intuition, but when soulmates find each other they know that they've met their other half. There is often a sense of calm and certainty about their relationship from the very beginning. Even before they say it out loud, soulmates know that this relationship is going to go the distance."

That magazine Kayleigh gave me was right, in a way. I was utterly calm when with Simon, and when I saw Simon for the first time I felt something in my gut. I wasn't sure of it then, but I'm sure now. The article went on to talk about respect and being best friends, about how it's easy to be around them. Then I came across another paragraph.

"Everyone deals with emotions - from love to anger to sadness to joy - in very different ways. For instance, some people might express their love for a partner by giving them a back rub, while other people might express love by doing the dishes. The same is true of anger -- some people withdraw in the face of conflict, while other people want to talk things out immediately."

That one was like a slap across the face. How did I express my 'love' for him? Did I love him? I put the magazine down on the bed and sighed, rubbing my face. I decided to not sleep through the night in my clothes. I must've slept from the time we got home through dinner. I yawned, stood up, and changed into Simon's clothes that I had designated as my pajamas. My stomach rumbled slightly. I threw my hair into a messy bun and went downstairs. It was quiet, so I assumed everyone was asleep or recording. Well, until I heard soft arguing.

"What are we going to eat?" Josh asked. I stayed outside the kitchen, not wanting to interrupt.

"Shh. You'll wake Lindzay up." Simon said. I could hear them going through the fridge and cabinets.

"What's up with you and her anyway?" JJ asked.

"I don't know." Simon answered. I realized I wasn't aware either.

"Why don't we just go somewhere and bring her back something?" Vik asked, yawning. Everyone was hungry and tired. I must've slept for a while. I wasn't all that tired, mostly confused over what I read in the article

"Fine. Can I go check on her first?" Simon asked. I smiled at the thought then went upstairs. I sat on my bed and began texting Kayleigh about what I read, pretty much waiting on Simon.

Me: I read the article

Me: But I'm still confused

Me: All the things apply, but there's more to it

Me: He's highlighted in a crowd

Me: His eyes can make me calmer with just one look

Me: His touch heats my skin and its the best burn I've ever had.

Me: I'm cold as soon as he lets go.

Me: I'm more confident when he is around

Me: I trust him more than I trust myself

Me: none of that's in the article

Kayleigh: go to sleep :)

I sighed, then heard my door open.

"Oh. You're awake." Simon said. I could tell he was blushing. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"I am." I said, sitting up slightly. I let my eyes trail over his body and his outfit. He had on joggers and a gray t-shirt. It oddly made him look great, even though it was dark in my room.

"Are you hungry? We were thinking of running through a drive through." He rubbed the back of his neck. I oddly didn't feel nervous anymore. I wasn't scared of the butterflies in my stomach anymore. I didn't love him, I barely knew him. All I did know was that I felt whole when he was around.

"Yeah, I'll go with." I said. I saw him smile when he realized I was wearing his clothes. I slipped on some sneakers and he grabbed my hand.

"Is it weird that I feel better when your hand is in mine?" He asked me.

"Is it weird I feel the same way?" I glanced at him and smiled. I was confident in 'us', now. I wanted to be near him at all costs but if we weren't together I was fine. Just silently counting down minutes until I see him. It didn't completely bother me to be alone, I was used to it.

"No." He whispered in my ear, making me giggle and pull away. His breath was hot on my neck, a tickle sensation rolling down my spine.

"Are you hungry or...?" JJ asked. I rolled my eyes. It was weird, having this bit of confidence. I was just experimenting, but it was fun.

I had grown up being kept in the shadows, to watch my step and not to talk. I wasn't supposed to step out of line. I wasn't supposed to talk about how I felt or what I knew. Here, in this moment, I felt I could.

"Just lead the way JJ." Simon said. He squeezed my hand to comfort me, and I was incredibly grateful he was there for me.

We got in the car and started driving. Conversations began and ended. I stayed quiet, amused by their jokes about each other. It was a calm, kind environment that I felt like I had dreamed up. I leaned my head on Simon's shoulder as we pulled through the drive through and ordered. I laughed along with them as they joked about others. We ate on the way home, such unhealthy food. I couldn't even remember what we got. I wasn't remembering the small details anymore, just the bigger picture. I was happy. My hand was in Simon's and the heat from it heated my soul. The smiles on everyone's faces matched my own.  The laughs that filled the car made my heart swell. It felt like a home. I found a home.