A Little More Time

Making Him Mine

"Simon?" I whispered, cracking open the door. It was dark, silent, sort of inviting. He must have been asleep, he didn't move at all.

When we had gotten home, we were all incredibly tired. We just went straight to bed. I tossed and turned for a while, finally finding a comfortable position. Once I had finally fallen asleep, I had a terrible nightmare.

I was in a forest, surrounded by trees. People were pointing, laughing. Faces I didn't recognize. The moon was fading behind the clouds and the air was slowly becoming thicker until I couldn't breathe. Tears streamed down my face, no sound coming out as I screamed. Faces started turning around, turning their backs on me. Except one.

He stepped out of the shadows, a frown on his face. His blue eyes darkened with rage. He tugged on his blonde hair, silently pleading for air. His screams were just as quiet as mine. He was in so much pain. I physically felt my heart rip from seeing him like that. Everything went black and I could breathe again.

I was watching a ceremony. People were smiling, proud. Happy people were whispering to one another, pointing at the girl in the white dress. I turned slightly, noticing that no one noticed me. I saw him again, standing in a handsome tux, a drink in his hand. I saw the girl in the white dress turn and my stomach turned.

She was me. Slightly taller. Way thinner. Her face was green, sick. Her eyes didn't pop. Her hair was a ratty mess. She was practically dead. She smiled, did it count as a smile when you could see her entire jaw? They kissed, and as much as I wanted to believe it was cute I couldn't stand the thought of someone else kissing him. And, despite the fact she was me, I wanted to kill her.

The scene blacked out again and I was dead. I was hanging from a rope. I could feel tears streaming down my face as I watched my body sway. No one came running. No one was looking for me. No one was crying, calling the police. I covered my mouth to stop from sobbing, but they escaped. I felt myself fall to my knees and I saw him again. In pain, crying. He looked like he wanted to do the same thing I had done. I reached for him, glass separating us. I watched in horror as he shot himself, bringing on more tears.

Then I woke up.

"Simon?" I asked again. I rubbed my face, feeling the tears as they started falling again.

"Lindzay?" He asked, yawning. He turned on his lamp and rubbed his eyes. He sat up, looking at me. "What's wrong?"

"Can I sleep in here again?" I asked, running my fingers over the ends of my shirt-his shirt.

"If you tell me what's wrong." He said. I crawled into bed next to him. He wrapped his arms around me and held me as I let out my tears before telling him. I told him of my nightmare, crying all over again. He rubbed my back, kissed my head, and whispered sweet things to me. I felt better, still slightly afraid.

We sat in silence for a while, him holding me. My breathing became even and I laid my head on his chest. We had made our way into a proper cuddling position. His arm wrapped around my shoulders while my head was on his chest. His other hand was letting mine trace figures on it. The blankets were up to our waist, the lamp and moonlight mixing together on our skin.

"Simon." I said, finding courage somewhere deep inside.

"Yeah." He replied.

"What are we doing?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" He asked, a frown on his face.

"Why are we holding hands? Why are you kissing my head? Why am I having nightmares about losing you? Why do I think about you all the time? Why can't I feel calm without your touch? Why do you, in a crowded room, stand out to me like the only highlighted word on a piece of paper? Why are you so easy to go to, yet so hard to understand? Why are you so quiet? Why do you seem so perfect?" I asked, out of breath. My chest was tightening. I felt his face against my shoulder. I hadn't even realized I had sat forward. I felt him kiss my shoulder, my neck, my cheek, my ear.

"I could ask you the same questions." He whispered to me. "But we would both give the same answer: I don't know." He said. I turned to look at him. We leaned our foreheads against each other.

"I don't think this is that crush you get during school. I don't think it's that love you have when you see them smile. I don't think that it's fake. I believe it is one hundred percent real. I think it's true love, fate. Soulmates." He told me, making my heart race. "I barely know anything about you, but I'm willing to give you my everything. Cliché, whatever. All I know is ever since we've met, it's felt wrong to be by myself."

I leaned in and kissed him. Fireworks were everywhere. When he cupped my cheeks, heat exploded. When he kissed back, I felt calm. Fireworks were in the background but I could hear them. My first kiss with my 'soulmate'. I thought I was in heaven.

"I think it's too early to say I love you." I said. "But I have no doubt that one day I will. So for now, I need you." I told him, leaning my forehead against his.

"I need you too." He told me. We stayed like that for a while. His hand was still on my cheek and mine was somehow on his chest. I could feel his heart race under my palm. We fell asleep the way we had last night, but this time on purpose.