Devil-May-Care [Bunny Love Story]

【Chapter Twenty-One】

Even before I opened my eyes I knew that wherever I was, it was brightly lit. The glow of whatever it was that illuminated my surroundings had pushed itself through my eyelids and plunged itself into my pupil. Without much energy left after crying and literally going through Hell, I was barely able to open my eyes. I felt incredibly warm. Not hot like in Hell, just.. warm.

When I first lifted my eyelids, I saw nothing. In front of me there was only a white blankness with no person or creature or anything for as far as my vision allowed. I turned in a circle and still saw nothing but white. Above me was white, below me was white, everywhere was just white.

After a minute or two of just walking I began to feel nervous. Disoriented, even. I had no idea where I was, or where I was going. My heart started racing and I began to run with my eyes closed in a blind panic. It wasn't like I had to worry about running into anything. I was completely alone. This definitely was not what I had asked for. Of course Lucifer would play some kind of trick on me, who did I think he was? Why should I have trusted him in the first place?

I fell to the ground, but when I dropped to my knees nothing was below me and I began to fall. The feeling jerked me back into reality - or as close to reality as you could get in this situation - but as there was nothing I could do I simply allowed myself to just fall, embracing absolutely nothing with closed eyes and an aching heart.

"Kenny, wake up.." came a soft-speaking voice. I immediately snapped my eyes open and found myself in the arms of Butters Stotch. "Good, you're okay!" he cheered upon seeing me conscious.

"B-Butters?" I stammered, lifting myself up and staring at him. We were laying on the black floors of a white hallway. He let go of me as I regained my strength and sat back. I stared at him for a good minute, not really believing that he was actually there until I reached out and touched his cheek. Human flesh. "Holy fuck, Butters!" I said, wrapping my arms around him and pulling him into a hug. He laughed a bit and hugged me back tightly. He was there, he was really there. For the tenth time that day I found myself crying - how much water did I consume before this? - yet I was crying tears of joy. "Are you okay?" I asked, pulling away but keeping him close.

"Well, I gotta say I'm feeling surprisingly alive right now," he nodded. I laughed, probably looking pretty pathetic with the waterworks falling down my cheeks. "Aw, don't cry now fella! I'm right here, we're both here. What's wrong?"

"You're dead," I stated. "That's what's wrong."

"So are you," he pointed out.

I shook my head. "But I'll be back on Earth in no time. You know that."

Butters frowned at the sound of this, knowing that I had a point. Neither of us wanted to believe that we'd ever have to let each other go again, I'm sure, but it was the cold hard truth and we couldn't avoid it no matter what happened.

"I got you flowers," I said, deciding to change the subject to a happier one. "I think I left them in Hell, though."

"Well, it's the thought that counts.." he trailed off, not looking very optimistic. "Kenny, I love you."

"I love you too," I replied with a small smile. Steadily I stopped crying and calmed myself down. I really needed to just relax. I'm not alone. "That's why I don't want to leave.. Can't I just stay here? Actually be dead for once?"

Butters thought it over before shaking his head. "No, from what I figured out you can't."

"What? What'd you figure out?" I asked, shocked by this. He froze at what he just said and shrank back into himself, shaking his head. "Butters, please tell me."

"I-I'm not supposed to.." he stated. "I'm sorry."

Butters stood up and turned to disappear down the hall, but I grabbed his hand and stood up as well. "Don't leave, I'm sorry. I don't want you to go. I just got to see you again, you can't leave yet," I begged, hugging him again. He hesitated before hugging me back. "You don't have to tell me.." I said, despite the fact that I had wanted to know my entire life why I never officially died. "This is probably the last time we'll ever see each other.." I kissed the top of his head.

"That's not true," Butters comforted. "When you really do die, we'll see each other again for sure!" Looks like I was the one being pessimistic this time.

"I doubt that," I sighed, not letting go of him. "If I ever do officially kick the bucket, I'm definitely not going to make it into Heaven."

"Heaven.." he repeated. "I haven't quite made it there yet myself."

"What?" I asked, pulling back.

Scratching the back of his head, he said, "Where we are right now is a hallway where the Roamers are left."

"Roamers?" I asked.

"Yeah.." Butters replied, looking at me. "This is a never ending corridor that leads to absolutely nothing. Roamers are people who have died, but have not yet fulfilled their needs on Earth. So we're all stuck in limbo until whatever it is that needs to be done is actually taken care of. Um, from what I know those who have purposely wronged over and over again are just sent straight to Hell.. A-and people like me, we're put here until our souls are satisfied. Then God takes a good long look at us and decides if we're actually.. worthy.."

This was complete news to me. I had heard nothing like this from anyone, and I had always thought that those who were stuck in limbo were destined to become spirits that wandered around earth and not in some hallway that served as no sort of entertainment to them. "Then.. Why are you.." He smiled softly at this and looked at me with a look of loneliness in his eyes.

"It's because you're not happy," he stated rather bluntly.

"I.. what?" I asked, confused.

"I can't move on because all I wanted was for you to be happy, but it hasn't happened yet," Butters explained, looking at his feet.

I took a deep, uneven breath before responding. Of course it would be all my fault that Butters was suffering. "I'm so sorry.."

"Gee, there's no need to apologize.." he said, rubbing his knuckles together and glancing up at me.

"It's really hard to be happy without you, Butters," I told him, ruffling his hair affectionately.

He grinned, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Y-yeah? I wish I could be there.. But Kenny, don't hold back just because I'm not there anymore!"

I smiled slightly. "Don't worry. I'll try to live life as well as I possibly can," I told him, feeling choked up yet again. "I'll be happy. I hope you pass on soon.. No matter how much I'll miss you.."

"You should be the one who doesn't worry!" he grinned. "Time goes by pretty fast, so we'll see each other again soon in no time."

"How can you be so sure I'll go to Heaven?" I questioned skeptically.

Butters smiled and kissed my cheek. "Because you're an angel. You saved me, both figuratively and literally," he chuckled. I smiled slightly. "So I can wait. I'll wait for you forever, Kenny. Pinky promise," he said. My slight smile turned into a big one as our pinky fingers locked together.

"You better," I joked slightly. Then a small frown replaced my smile. "I love you, Leopold."

He looked taken aback by my sudden use of his full name, but he soon recovered and smiled at me. "I love you, too."

Then I leaned down and pulled him into a kiss. Closing my eyes, I took in everything. The way he felt in my arms, how he smelled faintly of strawberries, how his lips moved against mine so naturally.. I savored it all, and just as the passion deepened between us, I could feel him slipping from my fingers and slowly disappearing; turning from a solid person into absolutely nothing.

And when I opened my eyes again, I was all alone in my room with nothing but the memory of what Butters and I used to be.