Dirty Little Secret

Chapter Four

Warning!-there is sexual content.

Chapter Four:

Owen’s still kissing me and I’m kissing him back. I make no move to stop him. I cant. I know that he isn’t going to stop and to tell the truth, I don’t want him to.

Owen moves a little and I wrap my legs around his waist. His hands move to under my butt as he lifts me and stands. He carries me somewhere and I hear a ‘click’. He must have locked the door. I feel something soft on my back and under my head, his bed. He continues kissing me and moves back to kissing my neck.

I stare up at the ceiling, a sense of shock washing over me. I'm lying on my best friend's bed... kissing him! My thoughts are cut short as I feel him move his way back up to my lips. My hands go to his shirt and I start tugging on it. He gets the hint and tugs it over his head then moves back to my lips quickly. He pulls me closer and I feel one of his hands on my bare skin, pushing up my shirt. I feel shivers running down my spine as his hands trail along my stomach. My shirt rises up farther and farther. He finally grows tired of it being in the way and pushes it off completely. I pull him closer until I feel his bare skin on mine. He stops kissing my lips and stares down at me for a moment. I look back up at him. He gives me a boyish grin before kissing along my jaw and down my neck. I close my eyes, it feels so nice!

His hands explore my back and stop when he comes to my bra. I run my hands through his hair. I don't stop him when his right hand traces the waist of my jeans while the left plays with my bra. I feel my bra start to fall off my shoulders, he undid the clasp. He traces my hipbones with his thumb. He tugs on my belt and his hands trace where my jeans meet my bare skin.

he slides me out of my belt and shorts. My hands go to the waist of his jeans. I help him out of his jeans. Owen starts kissing me, his hands wondering my body. He looks down at me, asking for permission. I nod. He kicks off his boxers and slides off my panties. He puts on a condom. Pain shoots through my body and I feel tears in my eyes. I close my eyes tight. I know its supposed to hurt, but I didn’t realize it would hurt this much.

"Lani, are you okay?" he asks. I keep my eyes closed and nod. When he kisses my neck, my heart rate and pain become manageable. The pain lessens as we go on, but it still hurts some. With time the pain goes away completely. The whole time he holds me and won't let go, I love that. He's so gentle with me.

When we're done, he lies beside me, gazing at me. My body hurts, but I try not to show it. He gently brushes my arm. I slide over to him a bit and rest my head on his shoulder. Owen puts an arm around me, holding me close.

We stay in silence for what seems like forever. My heart thuds hard in my chest. Erica's rumors are now true. Not only are they true, but my best friend has taken my virginity. I can feel my mind going into overdrive. My best friend took my virginity, Erica's rumors are now true and Owen has a girlfriend while it happened. I close my eyes and try not to cry.

Owen shifts next to me, pulling me up so we lay side by side, facing each other. "What's wrong?" He frowns, his eyes showing he is worried.

“Owen....what did we just do?" “Tears start running down my cheeks.

"We... er-" he stops and looks down at me. "We just done it." He runs a hand over his face. "Please, don't cry, Lani-bear." I continue to cry.

"I'm sorry," he pulls me into a hug. "I'm so sorry, Lani-bear."

"What have I done?” I sob.

"Lani, please." I look up at him to see his eyes were damp. "I'm sorry... I thought-" I wrap my arms around him. We stay like this for a few minutes before we hear the tell-tale signs of his mum coming along the landing to his room. Though we still don't move.

"Owen? Lani?" His mum calls through the door once she rattles the handle. "What are you two up to in there?"

“Movie!” Owen says. I look up at him, he tries to give me a smile back but it looks more like a grimace.

"Why did you lock the door?"

“Lani was scared, we're watching a scary movie.”

"So you locked the door?" I can hear the accusation in her voice.

"Yeah, she was going to run away." He looks down at me before closing his eyes and sighing.

“Well the pizza is here.”

"We're not hungry right now, we'll eat later.”

"It'll be cold though, Owen."

"Mum, we'll eat it later," he snaps.

"Okay." I can hear the worry in her voice as she drifts away.

I look up at him. “What were you going to say?” I ask him.

"When?" He looks down at me with his eyes half closed - it oddly looks like he is trying to keep his emotions hidden.

“When you said, 'I'm sorry I thought-'.” I say. “Owen, please.”

"I thought you... wanted to," he admits in a small voice. I nod answering him. "So," he clears his throat. I don't look at him. "What now?" He asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

I look up at him through my eyelashes. “You're with someone.” I say quietly. His face changes, he looks worried, angry and frustrated. I avert my eyes and sit up. I pull the covers off me and start gathering my clothes and pulling them back on.

Owen watches me for a minute before finally saying; "What are you doing?"

"Putting my clothes back on."

"I can see that. But why?"

Once I have my bra and panties on, I sit on the edge of his bed.

“Owen...what we did was wrong…” He sits up and looks at me. My eyes travel to his chest then instantly snap away. I can't be looking at him like that! I scold myself. My eyes start to travel again but I stop myself. I mentally scowl. It wasn't this hard before. I've seen him in a towel before, and now I'm being like this? He looks at me, and I think he is going to say something. He sighs and looks out his window.

"I guess I better get going then."

“No, Lani don’t go.”

"What? And stay here, thinking about that again and again?"

"You'll be thinking about it?" I have to admit, I smile at his boyish behavior but it was instantly gone.

“Owen I have to go.”

He gets up and pulls on his boxers. “Please don’t.”

"I'm sorry."

"Lani-bear, please don't go." He tugs on my arm as I go to unlock the bedroom door. I look at him.

"Lani-bear, please?" he begs me and he looks like he's going to cry. My bottom lip wavers. If he even dares to cry, I would definitely start bawling. I lean my head against his bare chest and let out a tiny sob. He wraps his arms around me and just holds me.

"Owen... where does this leave us? What Erica said is now true..."

“I don't know Lani-bear.”

"Are you going to tell her?" I ask him after a few minutes. He brings me over to his bed. My step falters as we walk over, feelings crashing through me causing me to feel dizzy. My body can't decide on one thing to feel right now. He catches me.

"Are you alright?" He asks close to my ear. I start to nod, but then shake my head.

"Come here," he tugs me into a hug.

I wrap my arms around him. “I don’t want to lose you Owen.”

"You're not going to, Lani-bear." I can't help but feel I would. In the end.