Only For You

Nine.

getting up to turn my stereo back on, I drank some Tea and I began to feel sick.

Ashton came in and sat down on the bean bag and just stared at me in such a sad manner and I didn't know what to say or do.

With his hands folded together, he spoke up rather sheepishly.

" Why did mom take away your friend? She seemed nice." He said to me coming over to the bed and curling up beside me.

" Ash, Esten had some problems. People are born differently, like kimmi's friend Alex? He has special needs and that what Esten needs. " I explained to him.

He picked up the teddy bear near the edge of the bed and started to play with its bow tie.

" Does Esten see things differently than us? Like, does she see people ?" He asked me handing me the teddy bear.

" well, I'm not sure. I looked up a lot of stuff online and the disorder affects her brain, and what that means is that she does see things other than what we see. "

After I explained it to him, he had a tear running down his face.

" when they took her away and said that you couldn't see her is that why you stayed in your room and never came out?"

I nodded and he gave me a hug

" You loved her, and if no one saw that then they are blind. Christian, I may be your baby brother but I asked God if he could watch over Esten and make sure she is alive and okay."

Ashton took my hand and held it for a little while and half smiled and left the room.

I was left there appalled and speechless. Tears came falling down and hit the bed and I then moved into a fetal position on my bed and turned away from the door.

Soon the sun went down and I got back up from lying down and Ashton and Kimmi appeared in the doorway and they handed me the phone.

"hello, this is the Montreal Mental Convectional Center . We are calling on behalf of the patient Esten Coswaall, she has tried to commit suicide and she is now in the ICU unit . if you have any questions please contact us back."

The voice left the other line and a beep came on and then nothing else happened.

I just stood there.

Ashton said,

" What's going to happen to Esten? Please don't say she's going to-- ,

I stopped him from talking and sat both of them down.

" Esten tried to .. I .. I can't tell you." I said plainly.

They went out of the room and I just turned the lights out.

" if her mom hadnt let her out of my sight ... I could've saved her.". I said with tears spilling from my eyes.

From the muffled noises , my parents cane home and they sat in the kitchen.

Mom said to dad ,

" Is this the right thing to do? Leave Christian on the edge.. We don't know what's happening to her right now."

I felt all the anger around me burst out of me,

" I DO! IF YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW , THE ONLY GIRL I EVER SAW MYSELF WITH THE ONE THAT MADE ME SEE THE WORLD AS A BEAUTIFUL PLACE.. MOM AND DAD .. ESTEN TRIED TO KILL HERSELF AND I WASNT THERE TO TELL HER NO!!"

I yelled loudly and Ashton and Kimmi woke up from their nap and came running in.

" Christian, we are so so sorr-

I punched the wall, and Dad tried to pull me back and I fell in the middle of the floor.

I had bags under my eyes, and I didn't go out for a long time and I hadn't talk to anyone in days.

" you're not sorry. Don't play dumb with me. You let my girlfriend pick herself apart. Thanks. I appreciate it. Go fuck yourselves."

I picked up my bag, my phone, and headphones, and some money.

I bumped into them and didn't say word to Kimmi or mom or dad but to Ashton I said,

" Thank you for liking Esten. I love you."

Those are the last words I said to them .

----------------------------------------------------------------

I walked around the nighttime New Jersey scenery and it was quiet and sulk like,

I kicked rocks around and kept my head down.

Down the street , lights were on and it was Wesley's birthday and I had missed it.

I walked in empty handed and I felt like a bad friend.

Wesley and Tina came to greet me and I gave Wes a hug and I just sat down.

" Dude, you want some cake? Pizza? " wesley took my jacket off and I was burning hot.

" Akridge, what's wrong? You're pale." Tina said as she did she went to get a rag to put on my forehead.

" Guys, I have something to tell you. Last month, I met a girl. And this girl just like me. She loved the same things I did. And I made her go away. I was the one who took her on the shuttle and she had an attack. And now her Mother hates me, her dad and brother are dead and... Last night she tried to kill herself. And I haven't seen her in a long time. Her name was Esten."

I took a deep breathe and cried .