My Life

June 20

Well this has been one of the worst days of my life.

Okay, so my grandpa is in the hospital right now and today they told us that he has cancer in his lungs, abdomen, and basically everywhere in his body. And he already has a lot of health problems so that kinda sucks.

And what pisses me off is that my grandpa goes to the doctors all the time, but they NEVER found the cancer, the tumors, nothing, until now. And now it's too late to do anything to help him (he's terminal).

So my mom asks the doctor how much longer he has and she says HOURS OR DAYS! And I'm just like ?! NOOOOOOO!!!!! Like my grandpa practically raised me and I just, I can't be without him. So me and my mom started crying and this was just the worst thing of my life. And you know it's bad because my mom was crying and she NEVER cries. I've only seen her cry like 2 or 3 times in my entire life.

So yeah, that was literally the worst experience and I have it all on an audio recording.

But then my grandma (his wife) came (because she had left real quick to shower) and they had to do something to my grandpa so me, her, and my dad were standing a bit away. And my grandma started crying and I have NEVER seen her cry EVER, so I was like in shock and I started crying. And my dad just hugged her while I got us some paper towels to wipe our tears.

And then at one point my grandpa was COMPLETELY unresponsive and the monitor line went flat. So we were all freaking out and then it started beeping again and he started nodding his head to questions ('cause he can't talk because of the lack of breath he had rn) and that was a relief.

But now my grandpa is gonna go to come Hospice place where they'll care for him 24/7 and it's more comfortable than a hospital and ughhhhhh, I know that my grandpa is gonna pass away but I seriously can't handle it. I mean, he's one of the people I love most in the world and he was there for my first steps, for my first everything. He took me to school for the majority of my life, he took care of me every time I was sick, he was like my parent and I just love him so much. I don't know what I'm gonna do without him.

I don't know anymore, I'm gonna go because just typing this had already brought me to tears again.