In Pursuit of Happiness

2- Back Off!

Matthew's P.O.V

After leaving the store, Matai and I headed back to our apartment to get dinner started. I was feeling a little better knowing he would not be going without. I still had money left to get us more groceries after we run out with this amount that I just got.

When we got home, I left Matai to go do his kid stuff while I packed all the stuff away and started dinner.

"Hey Matai, what do you want for dinner baby boy?" I had to ask him because he can be a picky eater at times.

"I want the spaghetti with the chicken and the goo cheese" he replied while playing with his toys.

"Ok baby boy! chicken alfredo it is" I replied while I watched him play. I still had that feeling of inadequacy because I could not even buy a TV for him to watch cool cartoon shows. My dad always watched TV with me and my brother when we were kids; he would always get us stuff and take us out from time to time. I remember when he took us to a theme park with our uncle and we got all the stuffed toys we could ever want. Standing in this kitchenette just thinking back on those days made me miss my father and wonder how I could get him to love me again.

I made dinner, Matai and I sat in our spot by his toys eating' I played with him until it was time for bed. I got out of the shower after preparing our stuff for tomorrow since I had work and Matai had school. I was about to get in bed beside my little baby boy when there was a knock at the front door.

"Just a sec!" I said while putting on a shirt then heading to the door. I was shocked when I opened it and saw the person standing on the other side of the door looking at me with a stoic expression.

"Hello Matthew, I am here with Mrs. Dixon who is a friend of mine from the CPS" my father said. That was when I knew that my life would be over. I was too surprised to even acknowledge her because I felt like I was about to throw up. I was looking in my father's eyes and he was staring back at me, then for a brief second I saw that longing in his eyes, but it quickly disappeared when he looked behind me and saw Matai on the bed sleeping.

"Hi Matthew, I know it is late but when I was told what was happening to you and your son I had to jump on it right away. Being that your father is a friend of mine, I had no choice as well" she chuckled as if trying to make light of the situation. I immediately despised her facade and I had her as an enemy that my dad was probably screwing.

"Well then Mrs. Dixon and Mr. Roman what is the emergency? Is my apartment building on fire? Is there a bomb on the building? Do we have a psychopath on the run in the building?" I sarcastically asked while looking at both of them with disgust.

"Well no, but I was told that you are finding it hard to care for your son and that you are sometimes going without food," she responded while smirking at me as if to say 'try me boy and see what I will do to your black ass'.

"Well Mrs. Dixon since I have no privacy in my life I guess I must elaborate. Well, I work at a store, yes I do have days where it gets tough. My pay goes towards bills and buying food; I don't consider my needs and wants because I put his first. I get my pay on Friday and today is Wednesday; I made the last of the mac and cheese that my son loves for his late snack, then I stood right at that counter crying because I did not know where to turn." I took a deep breath, but before I continued I looked my father in the eye for this part because I am still hurt by this.

"I decided to call my father, Mr. Roman, I asked him to lend me money to get groceries. Now, when I did that I had no idea that it would have led to this because the man that grew me always showed me so much love. He sent money to my account so I went and got the house stocked with food for Matai." She looked at my father and he faked a smile at her.

"Mr. Roman is that true?" she asked him with a stern voice.

"Ummm yes, but Mrs. Dixon he cannot care for this boy properly! Look at this place! Is this any place for a kid? Matai needs stability not this! It is bad enough he is gonna be raised by a gay man and then adding this to it!" When he said that my heart broke and the tears I was fighting back just came down.

"Dad how could you be this cold to me? You have even turned my brother against me. You were such a good dad to me and you still are because you were there in my time of desperate need a few hours ago; but this? Why are you making me out to be a bad person or parent to my child? I never once said a mean thing about you because you are my dad! Mrs. Dixon if you take that little boy from me then you will be leaving me all alone in this world with nobody to love or to love me back." I had to plead with her to let her see that I was a good dad and not the parent my father is being to me right now. She smiled at me then told me not to worry because she can tell that I have things covered and that if I need help I should call her instead.

Mrs. Dixon looked at my dad and then she shook her head,

"Michael you have a great son here so please stop being a jerk and stop hurting your child that loves you regardless of what you just did." She thanked me for her time before she left me standing at the door with my father.

"Please just leave me and my son alone" I told him softly. I felt drained just from this intense visit.

"I love my son with all my heart and nothing at all will ever change that! The next thing is, I love you too because you are my dad and even though you have hurt me in the worst way more than anyone else I know, I still pray for you more than I pray for myself."

We both stood there after I said my piece and he looked at me while I was staring back. He lowered his head,

"Sorry for all of this Matthew and I will back off from now on" he said softly.

I went to bed with all kind of thoughts in my head. What if I lose Matai? What if my dad comes after me like this again, but with something bigger? I was thinking until I fell asleep for the night with my baby boy cuddled to my side.