In Pursuit of Happiness

29- Thinking Back

I was not affected by his little stunt but, I was mad at the fact that he was being a douche by asking that so he could say he was getting married.

"Congrats man and I wish you and yours all the best" I was genuinely happy that he finally decided to make a choice and be a man about his choice. I stooped to face Matai so I could talk to him a little before he left.

"Hey Bunny Rabbit, I want you to be a good boy for me OK?" I asked

"I am a good boy Daddy! Can I go now?" My kid was pretty much telling me I talk too much and he was ready to bounce. I kissed his cheek and they were off.

Being at home alone, I sat and I was thinking back to the start of it all. How my mother died and how my father turned his back on me after finding out I was gay. I have been through it all! Having to battle hunger, next to homelessness, struggle to even buy my kid a toy.

I have a good relationship with my brother and we are closer than ever now. He adores my son and they have their own little uncle-nephew thing going on. My father and I are good too; he has shown me that he is past that horrible, bitter person and all he wants is to know that both his sons are ok.

Meeting Daniel; that was something that I would never forget. He was a really great person at first. He was good to me, but he has his issues that he has to sort out and I guess he has done so now. Hearing him say he was getting married wasn't surprising and I am awaiting the next news, getting her pregnant. I have no problem with that because I have made plans for my life with my son and they do not include being bitter about Daniel.

From almost losing my life on our first date, to getting hurt by his inability to be faithful. I was deeply hurt by the fact that he slept with someone I introduced him to the night before my birthday. That broke me and I am still not into birthdays right now!

They say it takes three strikes to be out and I guess in my relationship with Daniel that applied. He wasn't satisfied enough hurting me the night before my birthday so he took it a notch further. Sleeping around with his ex-girl. I was always taught to forgive and I found it easy to forgive because I am not a hateful or revengeful person. I will always give persons the benefit of the doubt just because I always see the best in people first.

I have made a pledge to myself to stay single until I am certain the right person comes along. How will you know the right person? You know when you find that your thoughts are centered around them, when you find yourself praying for that person more than yourself, when you get miserable because you are away from them for too long, finally, you really know when all the things you feel about and do for that person is reciprocated equally if not more at times. Here I am now, sitting on my couch, my son will be broken in a few months and I guess I will have to put him back together because this is all for the best. I will always be there for him because he was always my reason and willingness to live. He was the reason to stop self-harming, my reason to not attempt suicide anymore. He was now my life!

I took a deep breath as I walked to the bedroom and stood over the suitcases on the bed,

"Well let the journey to a new chapter in my life begin" I said aloud.

I have no idea what the future holds but what I do know is that with health and strength, I will continue to be the person I am; kind, loving, forgiving and strong.

I hope you liked my story and understand that writing this in itself has been a journey for me. I look forward to the next book and I hope you guys will love it too.

Nuff Love!