Fantasy Book Reviews

Winged

Author: Hello83433
Title: Winged
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/54446834-winged-wattys2016

Winged is a story about being different and trying to belong in a society that despises and wants to kill you.

The story begins with an intense chase scene:  a girl with wings is being chased through a forest by angry people who want to kill her. It turns out to be a nightmare (or a premonition?) the protagonist, Adelphi, is having. This is a very good start and definitely kept me reading. The author then fills us in on Adelphi's life at home. She has wings, so getting dressed is a bit challenging. We learn a bit about her routine, the relationship with her siblings, and most importantly, her situation: she was adopted, and her adoptive parents are being compensated for it. The father also seems to despise her.  Though there were some unanswered questions, I felt Chapter 1 was overall well done. The pacing was spot on, and the mundane details we learn about Adelphi's life is actually relevant to the story. The chapter ends with her going to a school where special people like her are allowed to attend.

The problems start in Chapter 2. The POV switches from first-person (Adelphi's POV) to third-person POV, and then back to a new first-person (Spera's POV). Bad, bad writer! Why couldn't it have stayed in first person? It confused the heck out of me and didn't seem accidental as well. And just when I thought the POV roller coaster was over, the author does it again in Chapter 3, where we are back to Adelphi's POV, but this time instead of present tense, it's written in past tense! This needs to be fixed ASAP,  considering the author plans to enter the Wattys2016 story contest.

There's a bit more action in Chapters 2 and 3. We meet Spera and Rii who, unlike Adelphi and her friends, are outcasts. They have their own rebel views against Hope Academy, the school that claims to help the Winged. During a recon mission, the two are discovered and attacked by the school's "scouts". Adelphi and her friends meet Rii, and Rii goes on a rant about how Hope Academy is all a lie and that Adelphi and her friends don't have true freedom if they stay there. Rii flies away, and Adelphi is left to dwell on her words. We get dumped on a lot in these two chapters! Way too much information, and even more unanswered questions that will only frustrate readers. The author tries to portray Rii's character as a protector and savior to the Winged. Hey, even her wings are different colors than the others, and they're bullet proof! She can fly and put people to sleep with her magical powers! Yawn! Rii came off more like a crazy girl with a grudge, who shouts insults at others to prove her superiority.

The writing is decent. Some good descriptions, and some of the dialogue between Adelphi and her family and friends were believable. I could tell the author has a lot of ideas and probably has them all planned out. But I feel like she's too eager to reveal to us the story and all the cool plot twists. The whole Rii tirade about Hope Academy felt contrived and served only to advance the plot, albeit too quickly. There needs to be more subtlety in the storytelling. Anyways, Winged has a very cliché premise that I'm sure will appeal to young female readers, but it will need a lot of revision in order to stand out from the crowd.