Bright Blue

Chapter 4

You moved a T.V into the room. It took two weeks for you to do that all whilst I was tied to the bed. There must have been hundreds of guys that came into this room. Some wouldn't touch me but would get a chair and watch someone else rape me. They watched as the evil men put their hands all over me and their mouths and tongues up to the point where I stopped crying. I had ran out of tears from crying the last two weeks. Instead, I decided to stay silent. I looked up at the ceiling as they came for what they wanted. I heard them say how great I felt and how good I was being. I then heard then grunt as they released inside of me.

I felt no pain anymore. My body was numb. I had lost all hope. How could you fool everyone into thinking that you were a good man? That you care for me and that you were worried about me? You wore a uniform every day. You put on your badge every day and walked the streets to help protect the community but here we were.

You put the T.V on and the first thing I saw was you. I looked away and closed my eyes. I heard you crying about how much you missed me and how the man or woman that took me should bring me back safely. I felt sick again. I had vomited a number of times but you stopped feeding two days back when I bit you when you tried to enter my mouth.

You told me I was a bad girl and needed to be punished. Is this not punishment? How can you do anything worse to punish me? You took away my innocence, you invaded my privacy. You took away my worth, my safety, my confidence and my intimacy. You took all those away from you and you still decided that I should be punished. Punished for what? Saying no? Not wanting my brother's hands on me? Not wanting stranger's hands on me? Not wanting them inside me? Only Kevin had the right to do that. Only Kevin should have taken away my innocence lovingly as he would.

Kevin would have carried me into the hotel room and would have made the maids scatter rose petals and light candles everywhere. He would have told me how happy he was and tell me a really bad joke. He should have been the one to remove my clothes. He would have done so gently. He would have slowly unzipped my dress that I probably would have taken a month to search for and months to fit into to. He should have been the one to remove my undergarments as he kissed my skin, telling me how much he loves me. He should have been the one to take my innocence. He was the only one that had the right to enter me, to put his fingers into me. Not you and not those men. He should have been the one to make love to me all night and then hold me at night.

But you took that all away from me. You took it all away from him. He is the man I have loved since I was fifteen. He was the man that I took all my walls down for. You took away his rights. You took away our intimacy. Think of yourself as a big man? because you are nothing but a coward to me. No woman should ever have to go through what I went through. No man should ever have to go through what I went through. You deserve to rot in hell. You deserve the worst out there. Being locked behind bars for a good few years is nothing. Nothing compared to what we have to go through because of dirty people like you.