Toilet

Ingrown Toenail

AMBER'S POV

I woke up in a pool of my own filth.  Not sure what I ate, but there was corn involved.  Nicole hovered over me like a creeper, the worry was etched into her face like a bad illustration on a sketch pad.  Anxiety didn’t suit her, my heart went out to her.  Suddenly remembering everything, I felt like I was having some serious heart palpitations.  My best friend was a liar, she was part of the Illuminati.  Sitting in my own feces, feeling embarrassed for being an adult and having an accident, I knew s**t just got real. 

“Would you like to take a shower?” Nicole offered friendship.

I scoffed at her, almost biting my bottom lip off.  I looked at her sternly, I was trying to mask my fear of appearing invincible.  Perhaps if I acted like a badass, I would somehow morph into one.  Looking at my trembling hands, I could tell my acting sucked. 

“Why would I want to do that?” I demanded.  I mean, the nerve of this chic.  Did she really think I was going to make her job of sucking my blood easier? My logic; If I smelt like shit, she wouldn’t come within five feet of me.

“Amber, why won’t you believe me? I mean you no harm-.”

“Says the Illuminati Death Princess.   I thought you were my best friend.  How could you keep something like that from me?”

“I wanted to tell you, but there was never a good moment,” she whined.

It was hard to believe that this charming girl was a blood sucking villain. 

“Hi, my name is Nicole, by the way, I’m a vampire, I eat people, and I was part of the Illuminati,” I said sarcastically. 

Her shoulder’s slumped in defeat, if this was a battle of the females, I was winning. 

“Fine, if this is how it’s going to be,” she began, “then so be it.”

Nicole took a single step towards me, I turned away with ninja speed, stubbing my toe into a bed frame.  I screamed until my voice died in my throat, which was now hoarse, dried, and pained.  Swallowing jars of sand and wasps would have felt better than stubbing my ingrown toenail.  My ears were ringing, my head was pounding, and my toe was starting to resemble a blueberry.  Certainly it was staph, my toe was throbbing, and the pain was shooting up and down my right leg. 

“Ohmigod Amber, are you alright?” Nicole asked. 

“Do I look alright?” I rasped. 

I clenched my teeth so hard, I was certain I was grinding my teeth away.  My nail was oozing pus and blood.  The agony was crippling.  I lay on the floor holding my foot, blowing on it, as if to cool my toe, numbing the throbbing pain. 

“Do you need my help?” Nicole pleaded.

“It’s not a matter of if I need your help.  I don’t want it,” I snapped.  I didn’t want her to come anywhere near me.  She was a liar.  If she were a real friend, she would’ve told me the truth about her past.  I didn’t even know how old she really was. 

“Don’t be such a crybaby, let me see your foot,” she demanded.

Her eyes are popping out of her head, “Jesus, your toe is the size of a golf ball.”

Fighting the bile that was rising, I just gave in, revealing my swollen sapphire. 

“You’re in luck, I was a podiatrist at one time.  The bad news is, I don’t have any of the tools I need to perform the procedure.”

“What does that mean?” I cried, still holding my foot like a baby. 

“It means, you will feel everything I do to you.”

“I’m fine, really, I’m fine,” I lied. 

“If you don’t let me do this, your toe will fall off.  Toes aren’t supposed to be purple.  I promise, I’ll be in and out in no time.”

I stared upon my swollen toe, sick with disgust.  I was fading in and out of consciousness. 

“Just do it,” I gasped as she stuck a three-inch nail into my foot, peeling back the infected skin, prying into my most sensitive flesh as if she were searching for gold.  I screamed bloody murder, the pain was excruciating.    

“Hold still!” Nicole cursed.

“It feels like you’re trying to rip off my toe!” I howled.

“I need to dig deeper!” She cut into my foot as gently as someone going for a swim with piranhas.    Blood was gushing from my foot as if I were anemic.  How could she see what she was doing, I didn’t know.  She jerked at my nail one final time, with one last curdling scream, everything went white.

When I woke up, I was clean, and I lay in a nice warm bed.  If I kept my eyes closed, I could almost imagine Tim was next to me.  However, I knew that if I was alone, this might be my only chance to escape.  I wiggled my toes, expecting to me missing one, and was surprised when I felt no pain.  Sure, there was some minor soreness, but nothing compared to the ingrown toenail. 

“Good morning,” Nicole said creepily. 

I almost shat myself right then and there.  I shot out of bed like a bullet, crumpling to the floor instantly.  Nicole was by my side, I didn’t even blink and yet I never saw her move. 

“Here, let me help you up,” she offered her hand, which I quickly shied away from. 

My legs were weaker than jello, I could barely stand I was trembling so much.  Between the farting, excessive shitting, the nosebleeds, and my newfound overactive bladder, I was the definition of scared shit-less. 

“You don’t have to be afraid of me, I’m here to help you,” she said calmly. 

“Yeah, right, and my s**t smell like roses.  I won’t believe anything you say!”

“I understand your distrust, but if it wasn’t for me, you’d be dead right now.  I saved you from Victoria,” she reasoned. 

Flashes of memories washed over me, our friendship and all the times we shared.  It would take time for me to trust her again but I believed it was possible.  I gave her my hand, she pulled me up, and together, we would fight the Illuminati, thus, regaining my freedom. 

“Before we go to battle-,” I started, but was cut off.

“Retrieve Tim?” Nicole asked.

“Well, that too, but first, I really need to use the bathroom.”