Toilet

Afterlife

AMBER'S POV

Gazing at Victoria's scary face, and watching her turn different hues of purple- made me suffer urinary incontinence.  The urine felt warm in my panties, but offered no comfort.  Victoria looked upon me with disgust as she handed me another tampon to stuff up my nose. 

I felt like a walrus with enormous ivory tusks.  One large tampon protruded from both hairy nostrils.  Tim was panting wildly, his grunting made me feel wanton.  He once admitted that the scent of my blood drove him mad with desire. 

He pulled against his restraints, grunting like a savage beast.  His veins were prominent in his neck and face and  he looked possessed.  Tim's eyes were black-and he appeared more animalistic as he drew each ragged breath. 

Victoria rolled her eyes, slapping Tim across the face. 

"Enough, already," she snapped.

Tim and I sat across from each other, both driven by hormones and girlish emotions.  I had to remember that he'd rejected me, but I couldn't resist temptation.  His sunken cheeks, hawk nose, black eyes, and dainty chin, had me swooning.  It was a mystery, how his rail thin neck supported his egg-shaped head, was beyond me. 

"Amber-," Tim started, "please-listen."

Victoria rounded on him again, and the sound of thunder echoed off the thin plaster walls. 

"I love you," he whispered.  I have selective hearing, but I heard those three words as clear as day. 

"Olive juice?"

"What? No, I love you!" Tim hollered. 

"Elephant shoes?"

"Amber, I love you!" Tim yelled. 

I couldn't recall the last time I cleaned my ears, perhaps there was years of ear wax build up, but it was out of spite that I pretended,  I wasn't hearing Tim's profession of love.  I wouldn't let him break my heart, twice. 

I was experiencing serious heart palpitations, and I felt dizzy as sweat pooled in the crevices of my fatty folds.  My swamp ass were making me itch and I felt really uncomfortable.  I felt like a dam about to burst, I wanted to say how I felt.  For the first time, I wanted Tim to read my mind and tell me what I actually wanted.  And I knew, Tim was the only man that could do it-not including Nicole or other telepathic Vampires I don't know about. 

"Do you always narrate everything out loud?" Victoria hissed.

"I love you too, Tim," I stated. 

Manly tears started streaming down Tim's face. 

"Don't cry, "I cooed.

"I'm not crying.  I'm sweating through my eye's-it's hereditary," Tim sobbed. 

Victoria whacked him upside the head again as if to hush him, but to no prevail.  Words can never be unspoken.  The damage was already done.  As if to seal our hearts forever, Tim did something I will never forget, he farted.  The scent of shit lingered in the air, causing Victoria and me to gag uncontrollably. I didn't even believe it was possible for Vampires to do that-to have bodily functions, but Tim was full of strange surprises. It was the most romantical thing anyone has ever done for me. 

"How can you-," Victoria coughed, "love, her?"

"Why do some people love grilled cheeses? A couple pieces of bread, too much butter, and cheddar cheese, it's nothing special.  Simple, easy, and still perfect.  Amber is my grilled cheese.  She might not be special to you, but I love her.  There's no point in trying to explain that to you, Victoria," Tim cried. 

"She needs to die, you understand?" Victoria pleaded. 

"You don't get to be the good guy in all this," Tim raged. 

"I'm a Shadow Hunter, and it's my job to eliminate all threats to our species.  Human's can't know about our existence.  And-," Victoria spat, turning her head like a demonic ice princess, "I hate grilled cheeses."

"I knew you had no soul," I stated. 

"I agree," a dark voice boomed from the shadows of my living room. 

I looked at Tim, "your voice sounds so unusually masculine."

Tim shot me dirty looks, "that wasn't me."

The door flung open and I saw a wraith, a betrayer, a guilty Luna, and a tall, handsome stranger.  I quickly pulled the tampons out of my nose to appear more presentable, attractive even.  Even if it was just Nicole's ghost, I didn't want her to see me like this. 

"My name is-." The stranger thundered, his voice was like velvet cream cheese cake, with mocha drizzle and whipped cream. 

"Theodorus Black," Victoria finished, shakily. 

'Victoria," words like ice cut at her masquerade of evil, making her expression appear softer and more favorable.

"What summons you here?" A tiny voice whispered. 

When did Victoria eat a squeaker toy?

Luna stepped forward, her long hair tumbled to her shoulders in waves.  Her eyes spoke volumes of defiance.  I couldn't stop staring at Nicole.  Her face was grim, and I wondered if she was waiting for me to die, to accompany me to the afterlife.