Impossibly His

Chapter Eleven

The loudest noise echoed through the air; a scream. It seemed never ending, continuous as it pierced the air and after a while I realized that it was coming from me.

A hand was balled up in my hair, dragging be across the ground roughly, and tears streamed down my face as I was beyond terrified; almost as if I knew what was coming and it was inevitable.

"No," a familiar voice sneered. "You're not going to get rid of me that easily." My eyes shot up to the all too familiar boy with the curly brown hair and black eyes. The same eyes that I'd thought I had been in love with when it all began.

I had thought that he would be the one to help me pick up all of my broken pieces, but he smashed them apart even further instead.

"Jay, please," I cried out, begging him to stop because I didn't think that I could handle this anymore, but he didn't ease up the slightest as he drug towards a room. "No!" I screamed when the realization of what he was trying to do hit.

I thrashed in his vice grip, but my efforts were proven futile when he leaned down to whisper in my ear, "No one is coming to help you. You're mine."

***

I was screaming again, but it wasn't as hazy as it had been in the nightmare, and I couldn't stop the noise that was coming from my throat.

"Clare," a groggy voice beside be exclaimed in panic. A hand grabbed my arm in the darkness, only causing me to scream louder as I tried to escape the persons hold.

"No!" I cried. "Please, please no."

"It's okay," the same voice said before a light turned on and they wrapped their arms around me. Her head full of blonde locks immediately reminded me that I had spent the night at Maya's house the previous day, and despite the fact that I was on the verge of a panic attack I let her hug me. "Where are your headphones, Clare? Your lungs are tightening. You can't breathe. You need to calm down."

"F-forgot them," I gasped, my body trembling. She sprinted off down the hallway, the sound of her scrambling around echoing through the quiet house, and when she finally returned she shoved something into my hand.

"Use it," she commanded urgently. Despite the fact that I already knew what she had given me, I looked down at it anyway.

"No," I breathed. "No-"

"Clare, please, you'll kill yourself," she pleaded.

As my vision began to blur, I unwillingly lifted the inhaler that I kept at her house for emergencies to my mouth and pressed down on the nozzle. My throat immediately opened up, allowing me to breathe again but it couldn't stop the tears from flowing down my face.

"Maya," I sobbed. "I can't do this anymore. I can't-"

"Stop talking like that," she scolded. "You're going to get through this, I promise."

"I never should have testified against him," I whispered. "Now he's going to come after me when he gets out, and it's going to be worse. I should have just shut my mouth and dealt with it-"

"Clare, stop," she interrupted. "Stop blaming yourself for all of this because that's exactly what he wants you to do. He wants you to think that what he did was your fault. He wants you to be afraid of him. What he did to you was inhumane in so many ways, but don't let him win, Clare."

"The memories...they won't go away. I keep trying to forget, but I see them every time I go to sleep. I see him-" I broke off as a strangled sob escaped my mouth.