My Favorite Color Is Hot Blue

Chapter 9: The Proposal

 Error looks at Blueberry, "Hey... do you want to go to Underswap?" He asks. "... I don't want Papyrus to see me like this." Blueberry says honestly. "Well, I was thinking about going to Waterfall, but if you just don't want to go to Underswap, we can go someplace else if you wish." Error says kindly. "You said we could decorate our house?" Blueberry asks, looking up at Error with a forced smile. Error nods, "Ok. If that's what you want to do." Error says, smiling. Blueberry wonders how people could call someone who was so sweet a freak. Blueberry, Error was perfect. "How do you want to decorate it?" Error asks, smiling at Blueberry.

Blueberry thinks for a second, "How about we put a TV over there." Blueberry says, pointing to a wall. "Okay." Error says and snaps his fingers, a TV appearing on the wall in which Blueberry pointed out.

"And uh... I don't really like the white blank walls... Can we uh... Paint them?" Blueberry asks. "What color, or colors?" Error asks. "Blue and white." Blueberry says, smiling a little bit. Error chuckles, "Okay, do you want designs 'n shit on the walls or what?" Error asks, smiling. "Stripes?" Blueberry asks. "Ok." Error replies, then snaps his fingers and a few buckets of blue paint appear. He snaps his fingers once more, and the walls start to paint themself. But instead of being normal stripes, the blue branches off in beautiful swirls. Blueberry watches, yet he was strangely not impressed. He found it hard to be impressed... The blue eventually stops moving and the walls all look amazing. "It's lovely, Error." Blueberry says, smiling a little. Error smiles at Blueberry, "Thought you'd like it." He says.

"Hey Blueberry! Check Error's right pocket. He's hiding a secret in there!" A voice says suddenly. It seems Error can't hear it, because he has no reaction to it. No, I shouldn't, what if he doesn't want me to see it? Blueberry thinks. "Blueberry! Really, you should look! He won't even tell us what it is! He'll just smile at us!" Another voice says. Blueberry shakes his head. "Hey Blue, there's, uh, something I want to show you." Error says, blushing slightly. Blueberry looks up at Error, "What is it?" He asks. "Just, come on, ok? Trust me?" He asks hopefully, a broad smile on his face. Blueberry raises an eyebrow, but nods. Error snaps his fingers and a portal opens to Outertale Waterfall. Blueberry grabs Error's hand, as if asking for support walking. Error smiles down at Blueberry and holds his hand as the two walk through.

Blueberry finds himself leaning on Error for support as they walk, almost as if he didn't do this, he would fall over. Error squeezes Blueberry's hand gently. "Well, here we are." Error says, looking around, he seems... nervous, about something. "Error?" Blueberry asks, sounding concerned for Error. Error smiles at Blueberry, "Blue... you are the most amazing, wonderful, kind, funny guy I've ever met, and... and I want to spend the rest of my life with you... Blueberry." Error gets down on one knee and takes out the small black box, showing a silver ring with a baby blue sapphire in it, "Will you marry me?" He asks, a hopeful look in his eyes.

Blueberry stood there for a moment. He didn't say anything, he didn't do anything. He had no reaction to the ring, he had no reaction to the proposal. He just stared down at Error. He wanted to say his answer so badly, he wanted to do something, anything. Yet he was stuck in place as those terrible thoughts started playing through his mind.

"You don't deserve this. He's so much better than you. Just leave him, he's happier not having to deal with you. He doesn't love you." The thoughts ran through his mind. And Blueberry had to agree, Error was a literal God. He could have anyone, date anyone, marry anyone. He didn't need a depressed, stupid, skeleton weighing him down. "... is that a yes or a no?" Error asks.

Blueberry still couldn't reply, he starts to feel tears pouring down his face. Error loves him, he loves a broken mess that could never be what he wanted to be again. He couldn't say yes, he couldn't let Error suffer like this. He needs to get away, he needs to run, he needs to... To just... Blueberry couldn't even finish that thought, he falls to his knees, tears streaming down his face. He couldn't... He... He feels a hand on his shoulder, "You could've just said no." Says a kind and gentle voice. He looks up and sees Error smiling sadly at him.

"You don't want to marry me... You want to marry a guy you knew four months ago..." Blueberry says quietly. He knew he'd never be 'Blueberry' again. He was just an empty shell of what Blueberry use to be. "That's where you're wrong Blue, I want to marry you, whether it's the you from four months ago, or you now, I still love you, and nothing will ever, EVER change that." Error says, hugging Blueberry tightly.

Blueberry felt something in him stir, it wasn't the emotion he expected at these words, it was anger. It was the most anger he had felt in a long, long time. Blueberry quickly pushes Error away, standing up on his feet. "I CAN'T BE WHAT YOU WANT ME TO BE!" Blueberry yells. He didn't even know he could yell that loud. The tears return, along with that terrible, terrible empty feeling. "I'm not... I'm not the same person you fell in love with..." Blueberry says, feeling more tears fall.

"I'm not zany... I'm not lustful... I'm not kind... I'm just empty... I can't even... I don't even know what happiness or love feels like anymore..." Blueberry says. "Blue, look at me and tell me, for one second, that it looks like I care about all of that." Error says, getting down to Blueberry's height. Blueberry looks into Error's eyes and sees that, he's right, he doesn't look like he cares if Blueberry is the same way he was before.

"I can't do this anymore, I can't do anything anymore..." Blueberry says, staring into Error's eyes. There was nothing but pain and suffering in those big blue eyes. "I can't... I can't feel... Anything..." Blueberry says, tears streaming down his face. "And I'm here to help you with that. And before you run off again, if you can't tell already, I'm determined to help you through this, even if it takes forever, even if you'll never be the same as before, I want to help you feel better about this, okay?" Error says.

That pain hits Blueberry ten times as hard. He couldn't do this, Error cared about him. And that was possibly the worst feeling. He knew that the pain would never go away, and Error would keep trying to help him. Yet he'd never be able to. Because Blueberry was dead, the old one at least. Blueberry found himself starting to hate that name along with Sans, they both went along with a person he wasn't, a person he never could be. "Error, everything that was ever Blueberry is gone." Blueberry says, looking him straight in the eyes. He felt nothing, he felt nothing but endless pain. Error's eyes erupt with fury, "I. Don't. Care. I'm going to help you whether you like it or not." He says, forcing his voice to sound calm when he obviously isn't.

Blueberry couldn't take it anymore. He loved him, yet Blueberry only felt empty. He would die for him because he loves him, yet Blueberry would die for Error because he wanted to die. Blueberry couldn't deal with this, with anything. So he did the only thing he could do, he teleported to their stargazing spot and hid, hid and just stared at the darkness that now surrounded him. Error could be heard not too far off grumbling to himself about something, the occasional noise of one hitting their own head.

Blueberry wanted to cry, he really, truly did. But he knew the slightest sound would alert Error. That's when he started to feel that pain in his ribcage, Blueberry instantly recognized it. That pain was always there when he thought about killing himself, about forcing a bone through his soul. Yet Blueberry knew that Error finding his dust would only make him sad. He could live without him. Blueberry couldn't live at all.

Error eventually sits on the ground and flops backwards with his arms out, staring up at the stars. He starts to sing softly, "I remember tears streaming down your face when I said I'll never let you go... When all those shadows almost killed your light.... I remember, you said, don't leave me here alone, well all that's dead and gone is past, tonight.... Just close your eyes, the sun is going down, you'll be alright, no one can hurt you now, by morning light, you and I'll be safe, and, sound..." He sings, having closed his eyes.

That song was so beautiful to Blueberry, it reminded him of all of those happy moments, being in Error's arms, kissing Error, knitting with him, everything. Blueberry knew that was who Error wanted to be with, the zany, cute, kind, lustful Blueberry. Not whatever he was now... Blueberry covers his mouth with his right hand, sound would come out muffled and distant, Error wouldn't hear it, Blueberry knew that. With his left hand, Blueberry summoned a bone. All it took was a little pain, then all the suffering would stop. Blueberry rams the bone through his soul, a quiet, muffled gasp coming out of his mouth in response.

End of Chapter 9