Desire. Draco Malfoy.

Shattered

Well my O.W.L. Results just got back. To say the least I got all O's and E's ( Outstanding and Exceeds Expectations) so that's a swell thing. Although I know I should be happy, and I know I could be a success in life I don't feel that great. OH and I got a D (Dreadful) in CoMC (Care of Magical Creatures) which is stupid because it's a stupid class.

Gosh I don't know why I even looked at my score. It doesn't change anything. I leave for home soon, in fact, I leave tomorrow. Ana showed back up if you were wondering. And she avoids me just as much. But I need to forget about her.

I received a letter from my parents saying something big will be happening this summer but I have no clue what. My birthday was the 5th and the letter said nothing mentioning it.

I got maybe one happy birthday. How shitty is that? Pretty shitty.

Right now you ask? Good question. I am doing nothing. Absolutely nothing. My life is so boring and dreary. I hate thinking about my past and the future is no better. My life is so hopeless and practically meaningless. God why can't I just switch life's with someone normal. That would be great. I would maybe be happy. Everyone else has it so easy. If only they knew the life I lived.

Well today's the last day might as well walk around and say bye to some people..

Or maybe I can stay in bed for a few more minutes. By now I think my roommates are used to seeing me in bed all day.

Lazily I get up. Wow my legs feel like noodles.
Pins and needles shoot through my legs and I loose my balance for a few seconds.
Forgetting about it I walk the stairs and into the main lounge.  There are a few people there but none of them I care for. They all lightly nod at me and I return the nod because why not?

I walk out of the lounge and down a hallway.  Where is everyone?

Oh yea Harry Potter drama. Fantastic.

Everyone is stuffed into one room gossiping about what's happening. I scan the room and of corse see Ana but keep looking for other people. I grab a glass of water and keep looking. Where could crab be? I see none of my friends.

Or acquaintances..? Or whatever they are. 

Gosh do I even have any friends. I've known everyone in this room practically my whole life, why do none of them like me?
Why do all of them hate me?
Why do I hate myself?

Because what is there to like?

Suddenly the glass in my hand shatters and I stop and look at my hand bleeding.

I look up.

Everyone is staring at me. Staring at the broken glass and water all over me.

Tears spring to my eyes and I run out of the room. I run down the hall and back in to the lounge where there are more people to look at me. I run to the stairs and back into my room. I slam the door shut and slide down it.

The room was a blur from how many tears were in my eyes.

I'm such a failure.

My life is worthless.

I can never be happy.

I will never be happy.

Why am I still here?

I'd be better off gone.

Gone.

Anywhere but here.

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Hey you guys. Just wanted to say thanks for reading. I am trying to update a lot more. But yea idk. Sorry if these chapters have been pretty dark but draco's life is dark so more chapters will indeed be like this. Sorry not sorry, basically. I love all of you so much and yea see you guys in the next chapter!!
-CRM