Sherlock x Reader

Just for tonight

The ceremony was beautiful.

Mary and John got lucky. For once, it wasnt raining and the sun's appearance made the scene look truly magical. Mary even dragged you out for some photos with her, then with her and John and finally for a more-than-slightly awkward photo with her, John and Sherlock. You'd been amused at his uncomfortable expression when he was forced into posing with the happy couple but now it was your turn to join in that dolorous atmosphere, that should have been so much more cheerful.

But you tried. You tried to look happy, for the happy couple's sake. You just hadn't realised how painful it would be.

The wedding had been going to plan. And then Sherlock went ahead and solved two murders, one of which hadn't even happened yet. Who wouldn't be impressed by that? Then there was his best man's speech. And his toast. And the piece he played for new bride and groom. Over and over again he kept surprising you, with his unreciprocated kindness and empathy. You were so taken aback because you didn't even remember that he could show such human emotions. But why were you? After all, Mary and John hadn't done anything wrong. They hadn't killed him. But you could have let yourself be blown away and forget about it in the morning, if it hadn't been for her.

Throughout the reception, this bitc- this woman was flirting with Sherlock and you'd assumed he'd make some sarcastic comment to repulse her. But then you saw him dancing with her - alone! And you tried to make yourself see reason, that you had no right to get jealous or to control who he spoke to or danced with but you couldn't stop seething with anger when you saw his hand on the small of her back.

Air. Cold air, fresh air. You couldn't stand being inside any more, the then warm and friendly atmosphere turned stifling, threatening to choke you the longer you stayed there. The laughter from inside quietened as you stepped further into the darkness outside. Well, it wasn't really dark. The moon reflected light onto everything below, and so it was almost like being there during the lucky, sunny day that had just passed, so quickly and yet so torturously slowly at the same time.

Out of habit, you had already picked up your little clutch bag and taken it with you when you'd rushed outside, away from the couples milling about, as besotted with each other as the newlyweds seemed to be. Their happiness was just an unforgiving reminder of how alone you were. In that respect. Yes, you had friends. Although you liked being alone, it was nice to be able to go out for drinks and actually be able to talk to the people there without any awkwardness. But being lonely was an entirely different matter. You lived in a vicious cycle of self-loathing, where you'd long for the arms of a lover to embrace you and to hear them say that everything would be alright... but then chastise yourself for feeling that you needed to rely on somebody, to depend on somebody, that you needed them to parrot soothing words like you were some weak child to be pitied.

The faint, but growing, sound of footsteps brought you back to the cold, bright night. Feeling the numerous goosebumps on your bare arms, you regretted letting "the girls" talk you into wearing a sleeveless dress although admittedly, you couldn't help being swept up in the excitement of dressing up for an event; the last had been a ball at your university.

For fuc-

You nearly kicked yourself for turning around. Thinking it might be one of the by now very inebriated bridesmaids gone outside to discreetly - and strategically - throw up, you thought it would only be morally right to help the poor girl. You didn't exactly relish the thought but maybe it could count towards some good karma. But, of course, you would never be that lucky. The familiar silhouette of curls and turned-up collar walked stark against the white overgrown building and, as much as it pained you to admit it, that first glance took your breath away. And then you looked away. Because you weren't allowed to have those moments anymore. Not with him. You walked away before he could notice you and were in a cab before you knew it - it was only then you remembered that someone had already offered you a lift home. Going back inside would've been unbearable. You were so relieved that you'd declined the offer of a room.