Sherlock x Reader

Warring with your mind.

'Mull things over.'

You kept thinking about what Jim had said. How could you mull things over? How could you need time to think about this? Of course you couldn't spy on Sherlock. Even if you wanted to, he'd probably know what you where up to before you could ask a single question. Actually, he'd definitely know. It was such a ridiculous idea. What would Jimmy need to know anyway? If he managed to spy on both you and John, what was stopping him from doing the same to Sherlock? And what was this bullshit about you being able to give insider's information?

You sighed. You couldn't understand any of this. You were too tired, too confused. What started as a nice midnight walk had turned into a death threat and you had no idea what to do. You obviously couldn't do this to Sherlock. Could you?

But there was that other thing Jim had said, niggling at the back of your mind. That the two of you were alike. That was obviously bullshit. You were nothing like that psychotic man! You were just-

"What's the address again, love?"

Snapping out of your stupor, you repeated your address and went back to thinking. You'd almost forgotten that you were in a cab going back home. Home. When you thought of it, you kept imagining Sherlock's flat. And John's. You sighed to yourself. You were nearly there. How were you meant to keep a straight face, to lie to them both? The best thing you could hope for was for them to still be asleep. But you wondered if Sherlock would wonder were you were. It was stupid to think of it. He knew you'd be fine. But you still felt that you wanted him to worry, to panic even though you usually resented being at all dependent on anyone.

You couldn't betray him.

You couldn't.

You couldn't.

You could.

No, it was bollocks to think you could.

But isn't it just a bit enticing...-

No! There was no way! How could you betray someone who was interested in you, someone who knew that you strong but still wanted to protect you, in some way?

You couldn't.

How do you know you couldn't? You know, Jim had a point.

And what could that point be?

You wouldn't really mind deceiving someone, would you?

But of course I would! I'm not psychotic like him-

Search deep inside yourself. Really think.

"We're here, love."

Doesn't the idea seem just a bit enticing?

You handed over the fare numbly, and got out.

Just a bit dangerous?

You pulled out your key and let yourself in, as quietly as you could manage.

Don't you think that this romance would be so much more fun?

You walked upstairs.

For the both of you?

And then the door opened.