Sherlock x Reader

Doubts

You went back to work on the fourth day of staying with John and Sherlock. It was fun for the first two days, they would both bicker, John would buy food, you cooked dinner and then you both forced Sherlock to clean up. But on the third day, you became aware of all the little irritations that came from both of them. Well, one of them really. John was nice enough but Sherlock was starting to get on your nerves. Sure, you were happier when he was talking about wild ideas and shivers went through you whenever he'd touch you, but he was annoying. That was a fact. Every time he complained that he was bored, you wanted to slap him and every time he went off into one of his trances, you felt you wanted to scream at him to get a grip. He used to fascinate you with how he could close himself off but it annoyed you so much now.

You liked him. A lot. But there were things that irked you so much about him, so much so that you felt you hated him at times. And those feelings started to sow doubt in your mind. Should you two be together at all? How could you be together with someone that annoyed you to the point of screaming? Was there any point? When he wasn't being all 3000% detective, he would be tolerable. At times, you could find him adorable. When he was sulking because he couldn't find a case interesting enough, you would tease him about being a child and ruffle his already messed up hair. Sometimes, you and John would talk about any funny experiences you had had and Sherlock would smile, even laugh at times. You loved his laugh. Well, his voice in general. It was so low and soothing, but you knew that it could sound terrifying when he was angry. And most of his anger was pointed at Anderson and.... Donovan. Yeah, that's who it was. When they did a drugs bust on his flat, you could hear him shouting even though you had headphones in. You remembered how you were called in nearly an hour later to do an autopsy on the guy that forced those people to choose between death by a pill or death by a gun. It repulsed you to have to even look at him but a job was a job.

You did love Sherlock. You knew it but there was a niggling feeling in the back of your mind, one that kept whispering that the longer you two would be together, the more annoying you'd find him and eventually, you would really end up hating him. And you didn't want that. You wanted to stay with him. You loved how he would come into the room at night to make sure you were sleeping, and would sit beside you and stroke your hair if you weren't.

And yet, you couldn't see the emotion you wanted to. Everyday, when you'd look out the window, you would see the happy couples everywhere. And you would see the guy look at his partner with love. With an expression showing that they would always stay with their partner and always do their best to protect them from anything. Not with analytical expression that Sherlock would use on you. You didn't want to be judged anymore. You already had to endure so many years of it at school and uni. You didn't need it from the person that meant more to you than even your parents. Well, that last part wasn't hard, seeing as you hadn't actually been in contact with them for 8 years. That, and they were just assholes. You knew Sherlock perhaps couldn't help it, it was in his nature to analyse and deduce, but you so desperately wanted him to show that liked you in the way he said he did.

But what was that he said about you? That he couldn't read your emotions?

Bullshit. If Sherlock could deduce your job from the colour of your tie, then he could easily read your emotions. You didn't believe him for one microsecond. Yes, you knew that you sometimes hid emotion but everyone did. It was perfectly natural. But you were comfortable showing how you were feeling to people you trusted. Anyone would, right? Of course you trusted Sherlock. He was the person that you actually wouldn't mind spending... not all, but most of your time with. Obviously, you trusted him.

Didn't you?