Venus & Mars

Chapter 20 ~ Don't Let Me Go

 As soon as we were out of Snoke's chamber, I began to storm back to my room. I couldn't look at Kylo. Not now, not after what Snoke said happened on Naboo. "Andromeda! Wait!" He called, the voice distorter in his mask not betraying his emotions once it was back on his head. Like always. This was too much. All the stress had hit me, and now I was breaking. I held my tears in until I got to my chambers, ignoring Kylo as he tried to get my attention.

Using the Force to open my door, I walked into my room and slammed the door shut behind me. I threw my cape and armor down on my dresser, and flopped onto my bed. The tears began to fall, and I no longer cared how weak I was. They're dead. They're all dead... How could Kylo do this to me? After everything, he betrayed me. I gave him all that I am, and this is what I get in return? I should've known. I hate him. I hate him so much! He and Snoke both! I wish they'd just die! I cried harder, trying to stifle my sobs with the pillow, holding it close to me.

I'm not sure how much time had passed until there was a knock on the iron door. "Go away!" I called hoarsely. "Andromeda, let me in." A deep voice said from the outside of the door. "No! I don't ever want to see you again! Leave me alone!" I shouted, refusing his entry. Suddenly the doors slid apart, and I grabbed my practice lightsaber, igniting it and swinging at Kylo's masked head. He held a hand up, stopping the saber before it even got near him. It fell to the floor, turning off with a buzz sound. "Let me explain." He said. Tears were still streaming down my mascara stained face, and I wasn't ready to listen to excuses. I launched myself at him, fists balled up as I hit his chest repeatedly. "How could you?! You promised me that no harm would come to them if I came with you! You betrayed me! You're a-a monster! I trusted you! I did everything you ever asked me! I fell for you! And this is how you repay me? I hate you! I wish I had never met you! You ruined my life!" I rambled on, yelling at him loud enough that even with the metal doors closed again, people outside could probably hear me. I didn't care anymore. I didn't care about how strong he was compared to me, how he could easily snap my neck if he wanted to. Nothing mattered except for the fact that he needed to know what I felt.

While I was ranting, Kylo ignored my attempts to physically hurt him, simply taking off his mask and setting it on the bedside table with his lightsaber. "And somehow I still love you! I hate you and I love you and it's so stu-." My sentence was cut off as Kylo wrapped an arm around my waist and crashed his lips into mine. He kissed me softer than usual, but kept my body firm against his, the surprise of it stopping me from struggling in his grasp. One of his hands threaded into my hair, cradling my head gently. I whimpered, so many emotions running through my head and heart. Kylo's voice echoed in my mind. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. Let me explain." With that he pulled back gently, looking into my eyes with regret.

Sniffling sadly, I straightened up, pulling away to go sit back on my bed, fiddling with my skirt. The soft shuffle of boots moving across the metal floor grew louder as Kylo approached me again, sitting on the bed next to me. "I'm sorry, Andromeda. I had no idea that Naboo had been bombed. I never meant for any of this to happen to you. I specifically ordered Hux not to touch Naboo. Supreme Overlord Snoke was the one who authorized General Hux to bomb the village. No one informed me of this. You know I would've stopped them if I could..." He explained. I still refused to look at him, holding back the tears that desperately wanted to fall from my eyes.

Kylo sighed softly, moving to kneel on the ground in front of me, tall enough that his eyes were even with mine as he sat on his knees. He cupped my cheek again, wiping the tears away from my face with his gloved fingers. He closed his eyes, taking my hand, and I was suddenly overwhelmed with images in my head and emotions. I felt surprise, anger, regret, sadness, and sorrow, all while seeing flashes of the events of the day. I was looking at myself in Snoke's chamber, eyes wide in surprise at hearing the news of Naboo's bombing. Then an image of me storming away from Kylo, and then my door slamming shut on him.

I felt how sad that he was from my rejection. I heard my own thoughts in his head, and instantly regretted what I had said earlier, because now I was feeling how much I had hurt him when he had read my mind out of concern. Then I felt his burning rage at what Snoke had done, which had pushed me away from Kylo, and Kylo had realized that Snoke had done it just to get me further on the Dark side. I saw Kylo's lightsaber slash a control panel in one of the prison chambers completely in half. And then finally I saw him open my door, feeling his heart constricting tightly as he stared at my broken form, lying in a heap on my bed before I reached for my lightsaber and lunged at him. The sorrow that he had felt began to fill me, showing me truly how much he cared for me. "Forgive me..." He said.

A jolt pulled me back into reality, and I gasped as I gained my bearings again. I finally focused on Kylo, watching silently as he opened his eyes to look at me again. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have blamed you. It was so wrong of me. And I am so sorry for saying all those terrible things! I didn't mean them Kylo! Can you ever forgive me?" I asked, tightening my grip on his hand and feeling like a complete idiot. I was so cruel to him, and he didn't deserve it. Why was he being so good to me now? I wouldn't blame him for hating me. His grip on my hand tightened, and I leaned forward, kissing him softly. "Please, forgive me." I asked against his lips. "There's nothing to forgive." He whispered, pulling me into his arms.

I relaxed into him as we sat on the floor, my hands moving to tangle in his sweater, clutching the fabric tightly between my fingers. Kylo let me curl up without complaint, his hands resting on my upper back. Some time passed as we held onto one another, the stress from the day having already exhausted us both. But then Kylo suddenly tensed, causing me to look up at him, startled. He was staring off into figurative space. "Kylo? Are you okay?" He looked down at me, appearing to have just realized something. "Did...did you say you loved me?" He inquired. I turned scarlet from my ears down my neck. I glanced away. "Maybe..." I admitted. I hadn't meant to confess my deeper feelings in the way that they had come out. A little more romance would've been nice... I thought. Kylo smirked, and I looked away. "You did..." He confirmed himself. I smacked his chest playfully. "Shut up, you big jerk." I mumbled, making him laugh, which in turn made me grin. His laugh and smile were so rare, I couldn't help feeling overjoyed whenever he did one of them.

Kylo lowered his head down to my ear, his lips grazing the soft skin teasingly. "Am I a monster for thinking that I love you too?" He whispered. I blushed again, feeling his warm breath ghosting over my ear. I shook my head, warmth flooding throughout my body. Did he really just say he loves me too? Though my heart was still hurting from the news of the destruction on Naboo, Kylo's words healed some part of me. They gave me strength and hope, two things that I never thought I'd feel ever again. I blinked and met his eyes. "You're not a monster." I told him, reaching up to run my finger along the scar on his face. He closed his eyes in contentment. "I distinctly remember you calling me such." He pointed out. "I was wrong. You're the most amazing man I've ever known. And I'd be lost without you." I told him. Kylo smiled a little bit, making me happier despite the heartbreaking situation I was in.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Please comment below and let me know if you would like a smut chapter to go along with this. I've had some requests but I just want to know what you think I should do. Thank you for reading!