I want to feel your love like the weather| L.H.

Messed up?

After our conversation I was a bit frustrated.
Even Michael said I didn't hurt him I felt awful.
Thinking back maybe I was a little bit overreacting this whole thing.
But hey! I gave Luke a chance when they arrived and he was cold with me. Why do I have to care that he wanted to help?
This is not only my fault. He was a bitch, too.
Yeah.. I should not feel guilty.
When it was bedtime I felt better because I could forget about what happened and my guilt was gone.
I talked with Hels (I didn't tell her the thing), shopped online, ate a good dinner with mum and my brother. Fortunately my dad wasn't home and it seemed to me I let him go. So I was chilled.
Until it was time to sleep.
I rest my head on my pillow but I was unable to sleep. The afternoon just came to my mind at every minute and the guilt started to come back.
I was up all night thinking.
And it turned out that I have to apologise from Michael. And. From Luke..
I hated apologising from anyone even from Luke...it was a lost battle.
But I needed help, he wanted to be nice, he didn't ask for money, it is a really big thing that an artist like him wants to help.
It was already 5 am when these thoughts came to my mind and I immediately wrote Michael a text.
'I am so so sorry! You were right. About everything. Really! And when I have the chance to apologise from Luke I will do it too! I should not act like this. Like a 3 years old! I am ashamed! L.'
...Here's his number. You can clear this up I believe!😉 And nothing happened. As I wrote, I would tell you if there would be any problem.

Okay Layla. You can do this. It's just a simple message. You just have to act like he is not the most hated person of your world.
'Hey, I'm Layla. I thought I should apologise cuz of what I did.'
And send. Cold but it's okay for the purpose.
In the morning he texted me back.
'Np. Luke'
Oh I think it was a bit rude. But whatever I did what I had to do.
-Layla if you want to come to the Mall please hurry up! We are leaving!-Mum shouted.
My brother wanted to shop some new clothes and I needed some things as well so I grabbed my jacket. Actually I would grab if it would have been there. But it wasn't.
While the shopping I was thinking where did I left it. It was my favourite and a bit expensive just to lost it.
Than when mum was parking in our garden I realised I left it at the office yesterday. I put it on a chair before I saw Luke.
I had to go back.
While I was walking down the street I called Michael.
-Michael, krhm sup?
-Hii, bad timing?-I asked.
-I just don't krhm talk too much.
-Oh I get that, sure. Sooo I'm going to talk. I wrote Luke.
-Khrm
-And he texted back! He was cold but I was too so I guess everything is okay, and maybe fine.
-And why are you so happy haha krhm krhm khrm-He laughed but than choked.
-Even I hate him, I don't like being the bad one.
-You cleared up yourself. Selfish. Krhm. I like it.
-This is Layla-I laughed.-Anyway. I'm on my way to the office because I left my jacket there at the middle of the drama.
-Okay. Cool.
-I am too much right now. I see. Get better Mikey! Kisses!
-Bye Lay!

I arrived and I was searching for my keys. I pulled them out of my purse and tried to open the door. But I didn't manage that because they just didn't fit.
I checked them twice and they were the right keys. I didn't understand that. Finally I grabbed the doorhandle and for my biggest shock the door was open. Again. This is it going to be good. I feel it.

And who was sitting on the chair where my jacket was? Of course, the big Mr Hemmings.
-Why are you here?
-Maybe you should greet me first, after what happened.
-Okay. Look. I'm not here to fight. Don't tell me what to do. I came for my jacket. Give me and I'll leave. I don't care what you do anymore. I'm glad we cleared up things but God please just give me my jacket.

Yes I know. I need help. At this point of my life I REALLY need help. But when I saw him, the hate just overcame and I decided that I am better without this problem.

-I am here because I do not lie to anyone. Ever. And when I promised Michael that I'm gonna teach ya, I really promised. If I don't do that my promise says I lie.
-I'm not interested your 'I'm a good boy' story. Tell him we tried and it didn't work. That's all.
-We didn't try. You played drama queen and left. That happened. We didn't try.
-It seems like you are begging. Hah-I smiled.
-You are not that lucky girl. But you know. If you are that asshole that you fuck up your fucking second chance than alright. I gave you another chance.-He threw my jacket to the couch, stood up and walked out of the house.

His words hit me. They did.

-Luke wait!
-Sorry, you fucked up. My consciousness is clear. I, I mean, I really tried. You can't play with me. Especially me.
-Please Luke! Luke! Luke I'm sorry! Please! I'm sorry...
He stopped.
-You. Just. Begged me. You never beg anyone.
-This was the first and the last time I did that. And if you say anything about this to anyone!
-Chill! Why would I do that? Nobody cares about your thing-He took a deep breath.-Just because I know how it feels. Go back.
-Thanks-I mumbled.
-Well you can be sick or something. Thanks,Please,Sorry. I've never dared to dream about you say...
-Shut up. We are still not friends.
-And I hope it stays like that-He responded calmly.