I want to feel your love like the weather| L.H.

The big surprise

-What did Michael teach you?
-Well he didn't really teach me. I mean yet. I just sang to him so he could note what voice I have and than we started to cover a song. No, wait. He taught me. Actually. He taught me how to cover a song. So yeah...
-Got it, enough. What did you sing to him?
-4 songs but only 2 of them were good. These two was a Selena Gomez and Ariana Grande song.
-Ariana? Really? The last memory of your music taste is it wasn't really into Ariana. Or even Selena.
-It's funny what you said because the only song I like from her is Into you.
-Oh yes I've heard it. And the other?
-Sober. From Selena's new album, Revival. It has a great sound and an amazing lyrics.
-Okay. Okay. Which one do you want to sing?
-Wait. Now. I have to sing?
-Of course idiot. If you think logical, well you obviously not, I'm your teacher who haven't hear you singing.
-I thought you are going to teach me techniques or other stuffs.
-It is needed to hear you. Come on.

I didn't want to sing in front of him. I knew that if he didn't like me, he would hurt me. Why is it not enough to tell me everything about singing and go home?! Why?!
It was a bad idea. Again.

-Can I sing anything else?
-Listen I don't care what you sing. Just sing. I have so much thing to do.
-I didn't ask you to stay.
-Actually you did so this roasting did not work. Another time maybe. But sing!!

I sang a few lines from Twenty One Pilots' Stressed out. I don't know why I choose that. It had the word stress in it. Which described my feelings pretty well.

-No more?-Luke asked.
-Wasn't it enough?!
-It was yeah sure. Now I am giving you another song..
-No! I don't want to sing more song. I am already freaked out.
-You are impossible! Well see you tomorrow than.
-That's all? We are done? I didn't even learn anything!
-Drama queen. Hah. Close the door!-And he left.
-Fuck you!-I shouted.

What a jerk. I don't understand him. Once he is nice (hm sometimes) and most of the time he is an asshole. I don't know how people like him. How does he even have a band?

I called Helena to tell her how the lesson went.
She picked the phone up crying.

-Hey! Hey! What happened? Are you all okay?
-I'm absolutely fine! And everyone else! I'm just crying cuz happiness! You are not going to believe what happened!
-Tell me! Now!
-You know I applied for the Spanish exchange student program. And they said sorry but they are out of place and I can't go. About five minutes ago the leader of the whole thing called me and told me that few students got sick so there are free places and I can go if I still want! It is amazing! My dream country is Spain, I can learn everything I am interested in and oh my God I can't believed my ears when he said it!
-Helena! It's! Jesus! It's incredible! I'm so happy for you girl! This was your dream!
How many weeks?
-We are talking about months actually. 6 but if I like it, and the school, students etc decides I can stay there. Maybe forever.
-Forever?! You mean I can't see you for half year than you stay there and I never see you?!
-Firstly. I will come back  to visit you of course. Secondly. You don't have to be selfish. You aren't the only who would suffer. And thirdly. It is not fireproof! They just offered it.
-Don't act like this. You are the perfect student. Your grades are the best from the whole school, you do social works, you can draw,paint, design thing I don't know. You are a masterpiece for them. And we all know that they told you, only because you gave them the application papers late you can't go.
-And they were out of place too...
-Yes. And you are going to love that country and the people. So it's obvious.
-Nothing is obvious. Stop. We will see.
-When will the plane go?
-On Thursday morning.
-We have 3 more days right?
-Actually I spend Tuesday with my family, and on Wednesday the whole crew of the program is going to meet, tomorrow is the only day we have but...
-Great! We can spend the whole day together! It will be awesome.
-Layla. You will have singing class.
-Oh fuck it.
-No it's important! I don't want you to skip it!
-I think you just don't want to meet me. I know you Helena. I know you too well.
-Not because of you. Because of me. I don't want to say goodbye to you. It would tear my heart apart.
-But you are going to 6 months! I can get one day! I want to say goodbye!
-It would mean it's over! And I don't want to feel this 'over feeling'!
-What is over? Our friendship? I think it is already over! What kind of friend are you? You don't want to say goodbye to your best friend?
-Lay! It's already hard! Meeting you would make it worse!
-Excellent! Well you can forget about me forever! Enjoy your shit!

Than I hang up. I didn't wait for her answer.

I went home, hugged mum tightly and ran to my room. Didn't say anything.
I just wanted to sleep and forget the day. It was too much. Especially the phone call.