i am trying to put myself back together / slam chapbook

nothing and everything all at once

to a friend back home:
you wanted me to write for you.
it was a book, specifically,
about you and i.
however, since my last piece
of structuted work was
2015's "doctor's suck"
i figured this was my best shot.

this is not gunna be some
cliche chronological sequence
of the events that led us to this.
i wouldn't do that to myself,
'cause you'll always be the cute blonde
who has real feelings,
and i will always be the dumb kid
from the other side of town
with the stupid crush.

instead, i'm going to say this.
you're a close friend
we are close friends
you saw me when my bones
trembled in a theatre
while i tried to talk myself out of it.
you were the first person i told everything to
and somewhere along the line,
i lost that with you.
i'm not sure if it was the lame jokes i make or how i seemed to rely on you
or if there is still anything i can do to tell you i need you
but just know that i need you

[1 minute catagory for iWPS style competitions]