A Life In The Days Of Eva Maxwell

Entry 17:

I knew something was wrong. I wasn't sure how but I did. I knew before turning on the news, I knew before I got the text, I knew before Seth did. I don't know what it was, just some gut feeling that I couldn't shake, the unmistakable fluttering that you get when you just know something bad went down and nobody had told you about it yet.

Of course, they called Seth's landline first, him being related and all. It started ringing while he and I were making tacos because why not? And he casually walked over and picked it up like it was any other phone call. But as soon as he picked it up his faced paled considerably and he switched it on speaker.

"We're calling in regard to your family," they started off. "There's been a crash and we aren't sure if they're going to make it yet."

Naturally, those words make intuition into a reality and you freak out which is exactly what Seth and I did. Seth was worried about his parents, because after further conversation with the police it seemed that they were being taken to the hospital right now. His mom was going to need some stitches and his dad was going to need some xrays done on his pelvis, but they should be fine. Which is great, but I was especially worried about Darin.

Darin was taken in for emergency surgery. A rib had punctured her lung and it was filling with blood fast. They promised that she would make it, and I believed them.

Seth was in a state of panic, not knowing what to do or say, so he just switched on the news and watched the segment that they had done about his family. Everyone else had escaped with minor cuts and bruises, maybe a broken arm, but Darin and her parents were the unlucky ones.

I on the other had went into shock and ended up cleaning the whole house after finishing the tacos while furiously praying to God Almighty that Darin would be okay. I forced Seth to eat even though he didn't want to and made sure that I ate also.

People started texting me saying that they had heard the news and that they were sorry. I told them it was fine, Darin would be fine. They just agreed and went on with their lives which didn't involve me in them.

Finally I sat down and switches the channel from the weather to some other show that Seth likes to watch, but he was just staring blankly at the TV. Suddenly he turned to me and said, "How do you do it?"

"Do what?" I asked, startled. He hadn't spoken in about an hour and a half so those words scared me.

"I love Darin, but you live for Darin. How do you do it knowing that she might die?" He asked.

"She's not going to die." I growled at him. Obviously he's never heard the rule of injury... if you think negative you get negative.

"She might." He said, turning back and facing the TV. And it sucks that we can't say goodbye to her. They won't even let family in.

"SHE WON'T!" I screamed before storming off into the bedroom and slamming the door. There was no way that Darin was going to die on me now, we'd come to far and have fought to much for it to be over like that.

I sat down and switch on the playlist that Darin had made for me one day when she was bored before changing into the shirt that Darin had bought me and the sweats that I'd bought with Darin, who had a matching pair. I grabbed a stuffed animal from my bag, one that used to be Darin's bur I'd stolen it a couple of years ago, and curled up next to it.

Darin was to strong to die. She wasn't about to leave me here alone, she loved me to much to do that.

But that got me to thinking: what if she does die? What am I supposed to do? Just sit here moping or find somebody new? Speak at her funeral or no? Go back home, turn myself into foster care, or live on the streets? Without Darin my life was going to be grey and lifeless and very much like it was before Darin came in it with her sunshine and cherry blossoms.

But Darin wasn't going to die because I wasn't going to let her. If Darin's live for me was as strong as she claimed it was, then she wouldn't leave me here on Earth alone by myself. She would stay here with me.

And if they're is one thing that I don't doubt in this screwed up excuse if a world, it's Darin's love for me.