3: A Rather Controversial Pair of Homosapiens Names Joseph and Michael

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Contrary to what the title would suggest, Mikey wanted nothing to do with Joe.

Of course, Joe also hated Mikey, so they had that going for them in the loads of 'no homo' and the obvious factor that entailed the two of them spending the entirety of the upcoming English period being partnered together to plan out a dramatic reenactment of a book Joe hated and Mikey burned about three weeks ago. They shared more traits than either would care to admit to, and that just meant they avoided each other even more because there could only be one and anyone who came close to getting the title was going to be taken down brutally.

Neither of them were too particularly religious either, so that was actually something they could talk about. Because even if they were paired up together, they weren't going to just do work, because that was too easy. Who had time for work anyways? They'd talk the whole period, then probably meet up at some shady park to actually practice what they needed to do.

petewheezy: mikey really what's going on

petewheezy: like did ur parents take ur phone??

mwheezie: no, not really. it's complicated.

petewheezy: dude like you've been blowing me off for a week now. is something going on??

Truth be told, Mikey didn't have the heart to answer. Yeah, he liked Pete and all, but it was exhausting to keep up with him. He could be so needy sometimes, which it's not like Mikey wasn't either, but not on the same scale. He couldn't imagine breaking up with Pete without a decent reason, so maybe Pete could break up with him for a good reason instead.

And that logic was what had led to the idea of Mikey sleeping around school.

Of course, it wasn't on a regular basis to earn him the fuckboy title, but regularly enough to bring up some question. In fact, just last week he'd worked his magic on Frank Iero, who really just wanted his brother, but that was besides the point.

mwheezie: it's just really complicated and school's already a bitch and i'm doing this group project rn with joe trohman and it's fucking awkward

petewheezy: want me to save you?

mwheezie: no, we have to finish this fml

petewheezy: okay. call me if you need anything xo

No, Mikey would most certainly not be needing anything.

"Who do you think is the hottest guy at that stupid religious school down the street?" Mikey asked as he looked at Joe, flicking black hair from his face.

"I dunno, depends on what you're into, I guess. I think Andy Hurley's decent, so's Brendon Urie. Hm...I dunno, what about Frank Iero?"

"Already snatched him. He's an excellent bottom, you'd be surprised."

"Okay, um...then, what about Dallon Weekes? He's cute, but not hot, I guess...yeah, I'd say Brendon until we go to a football game." Joe shrugged. "Why?"

"Just wondering."

"Well, I'm just saying, the only reason I know about the jewel that is Brendon Urie is because he fed me a sandwich at a strip club while he was preforming-"

Mikey practically spat out the water he'd been drinking, choking for a solid minute before looking back at Joe. "He what?!"

"True story," Joe said, leaning back, "you can't tell me you've never been to the Moulin Rouge."

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