Fear

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Jongdae dearly missed something and he knew exactly what it was . His father , after his life changing encounter with his friend that night he hadn't really got  to spend time with his father .
Chanyeol had managed to use his abilities to make sure Jongdae's father agreed on letting Jongdae stay with them . Yet even when all was well on his father's account in which Mr. Kim has no idea whatsoever of what's happening in his son's life .

Jongdae didn't find anything odd about his father when he did visit him from time to time . His unsuspecting father just acted like Jongdae came home everyday and lived with him . For a short period of time Jongdae thought that this was the sorcery Chanyeol had used against his father but later onwards Jongdae himself realized something was way off . His father would act as if Jongdae was still  merely a child or as if he was never gone and that Jongdae still hasn't seen the outside world .
' wait you can't go outside its dangerous.' ' wait until you start to go to middle school then you can go out and  play  without me ' his father would utter These words . Extremely confused and concerned ,Jongdae feared about his father's mentality .

He confronted Chanyeol and Yifan  about this situation. All he received was worried gazes and guilty glances . Chanyeol stated that his father could have lost his mind trying to fill in  Jongdae's absence . Jongdae was bewildered. How could he let this happen ? Why did he suspect anything from beforehand? He should have visited more often . If he did visit often, could he have stopped this from happening? The answer for that , he didn't know . Did he blame himself ? Yes , he did .

But deep down there were some other individuals he blamed even more and he didn't want admit and even if he did admit it he was too afraid to confront those certain people . Three individuals to be exact . Namely those three being Baekhyun , Chanyeol and Yifan  . Even though those three have sworn to protect him and never harm him in anyway , and basically devoted there time for Jongdae's well being. He was still afraid, oh he was so very afraid. It has been almost three years now and his uneasiness has died down but his fear for them remained the same . He didn't display it to the outer world but inside he was covering with fear.Even when he is met with such thoughts of his closest friends hurting him he denies it making sure to remind him that they were always there for him .

As always the dreaded ' but ...what if ?' Conquers his thoughts , 'what if they lose control like Baekhyun did that day ? ' , ' what if I do something wrong and they give up on me ?' , ' what if they decide I'm not worth it?" Even though the last possibility seems highly unlikely .

There's something he fears more than what his friends might do to him .

He fears to ask , he fears to think . He's afraid of his own dark and depressing thoughts . That's why he would always occupy himself with something .
You would never see Jongdae doing nothing , where ever he went he made sure he kept himself busy . Let it be reading to fiddling with anything he could get his hands on , it would be impossible for anyone to catch Jongdae in a daze , daydreaming or just plain out ' deep in thought ' as some would say . He fears that his thoughts would be too powerful and that it might awaken the demon that is forced to sleep within him.
Only at night when he's about to sleep can he not stop his mind from racing from different thoughts. At night sometimes he hears a low , deep voice beckoning him to let go , it promises that Jongdae's suffering would end if he did but Jongdae knows better .
At night only those horrible thoughts about his friends occurs ,only at night , during daytime he finds something to distract himself but at night he's powerless .

             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The semester has already started its been a few weeks as well . Jongdae attended his classes regularly , it's his first year he was still getting adjusted to the new change .
He learned that Minseok hyung was resuming his education in this university since he came in the middle and he's in a higher grade than Jongdae . He was informed that a scholarship was the reason for Minseok hyung's presence in this university.
Jongdae has no classes with Minseok hyung due to several reasons that I'm sure you have already figured out .
Chanyeol, Baekhyun and Jongdae were the same age but with different majors . Yifan hyung and Minseok hyung were in the same age category and also they had the same major so Jongdae didn't worry about Minseok hyung being alone . He did fear that his hyung is abnormally quiet for his own liking so he might not make any new acquaintances or friends. But since Yifan hyung's present he didn't mind it .
Over the past few weeks Jongdae  had grown fond of his roommate , not in a romantic way but in way how a little child looks at his brother . He's made good friends with Minseok hyung even though his hyung doesn't like to open up , Jongdae thought of giving him time ,considering his own past he thought maybe Minseok hyung had a rough patch somewhere in his life .

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