Letter To...

Christmas Party

Dear Christmas Party,

I know you are in the spirit of Christmas and all that, but do you really need to have so many foods filled with calories? I try to watch my weight during the holidays but it is SOO hard with all the cakes, cookies, candy canes, and turkies flying around the tables at every party I go to.

Also, the decorations. Everything is red and green, or gold and white. Balls and garland everywhere I see! I know it is the whole idea and what people think of when they think of Christmas but sort of getting a little old. Maybe piles of money for the guests or even make your house look normal, then you don't have to spend time putting them up and taking them down.

Everyone is so bright and cheery during the holidays, but nobody likes those sweaters, the fruit cake, awkward hugs from those relatives, or the pine needles all over the floor. I don't think people are as happy as they claim to be, I know I'm not. All corporate nonsense, not even a real holiday for families anymore just presents and gifts.

Why do we bother doing all this just for a few minutes of opening presents in one morning, the kids leaving a trail of paper and broken packages from the tree to their rooms. Another mess to clean up in your already dirty houses, but this one you brought upon yourself. 

Do the world a favor and quit celebrating holidays, it just makes people like me miserable. Especially Christmas, those parties are horribly planned and the decorations are nonoriginal. Too many cramped together, you have new years the very next week, another party, woo.

I strayed from my rant on how much I hate Christmas parties, but Christmas is a part of Christmas parties too. So that's it then, stop celebrating Christmas. It would make so many people happy, and you can teach the kids about what it means to be a person, not just 'Whoa these presents rule!' teach them what they should know. Stop giving them junk they won't use by next Christmas.

Sincerely,

That Guy Who Hates Everything.