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jimin;
the moment of truth.


Ever since I was a kid, I've always longed to be loved. I've always dreamed of experiencing such feeling. I am a lucky man, many adored me for how incredibly good looking I was and for my intelligence and versatilility. I could pretty much do almost everything— dance, calculus, sing, sports, name it and I'll do it in a jiff.

I used to see love as adoring all those things. I used to confuse love with infatuation, a simple crush compared to a whole new feeling. I used to think that loving is only acquired when one has something worthy to be adored to— that loving is only composed of happiness and smiles.

But as I grew older, I realized that loving is much more than what I have seen and knew. It demands sacrifices and tons of shed tears. I realized that love without pain isn't love at all. Because no matter how kind, caring and just perfect your love is, pain demands to be felt— which means, no love is perfect at all.

It started when my younger brother brought home a friend from school, I was barely eleven back then. He was shy, quiet and very reserved. He was quite mysterious which somehow made me quite curious as to who this young boy is.

His eyes were shaped perfectly like a doe, cheeks slightly tinted red probably from embarrassment. "H-hi...I'm J-jungkook." he said so adorably that sent a huge grin into my lips. He was too adorable for a five year old and far too distinct to my brother's outgoing personality, but I liked him nevertheless.

Since then, Jungkook and my brother Taehyung became the best of friends. They would always play whatever is in the park, happy smiles painted on their faces. And as an older brother, I am always tasked to look after the two and even sometimes I would play and join them too.

The two of them were having a movie marathon on a friday night and jungkook decided to stay for the night since there weren't going to be any classes the day after. I was fifteen and he was merely ten when he first came to my room with the sweetest smile. "Hi hyung," he shyly waved.

I was doing my homework but managed to look up and smile back, gesturing him to come sit beside me on the bed. He obliged almost immediately, jumping to climb on my bed and sat closer than I have expected. "Is that homework, hyung?" He asked, ever so adorably.

I could only nod but deep inside, I was boiling from too much heat I'm feeling. He was just too close and too adorable and I am a growing teenage boy, I couldn't help it. We both kept silent after that. He just watched me finish my homework without another word.

It was then when he yawned that I finally looked up to face him, the same time he leaned closer to probably rest his head against my shoulder blades. The feeling of his soft rosy lips against mine was beyond what I imagined it to be. It didn't give me butterflies and rainbows like how movies and books portrayed it to be; no.

Instead, I felt the tightening of my chest. My mind, my heart, my soul— everything was chaotic. I didn't know what to do. I seemed to have lost all my might and mind. I feel weak, like my whole being just shut down. Everything black down, every feeling, memories, just everything— all is forgotten and was replaced by how fucking smooth his lips are, how fucking good it feels against mine and how happy I fucking feel as of this moment.

Jungkook pulled away a few moments later, finally coming back to his senses. He was about to apologize when out of the blue, my hand flew its way to pull him back. I was kissing him for the second time. His lips were trembling and I could feel how surprised he is, because so am I.

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