Every String Attached | GirlxGirl

Chapter Five

Shawn's foot tapped lightly against the flooring of the city bus as her knee bounced up and down. Anxiety was raising inside of her body like a kite ascending air: gradually, but upon reaching the top, sustaining its height. She despised this: looking vulnerable. Shawn hated seeming weak anywhere, but especially while taking public transit. Especially while on her way to New York City. But she couldn't help it.

Shawn hadn't seen her brother, nor her sister-in-law, since she was first pregnant with their son, Nash. That had been nearly two years ago, because last week, Thomas had called, inviting Shawn to New York to celebrate Nash's first birthday—a week early. Of course, he first invited her to his actual birthday party, which took place the day before Shawn's: November 19th. But Nash's real party meant everyone was invited; family, friends. And there was no way that she was going to see them all now. Not after successfully avoiding them for so long.

Shawn had always hated taking public transit. She didn't mind the train; it was busses and subways. And even with the train, she only enjoyed taking it periodically—never two or three days in a row. A train ticket was more expensive, but anyone could hop on a bus or take the subway in Boston, and especially in New York City. Thinking this, Shawn peered at a man who stood in the aisle beside her seat, although there was space for him to sit. He was pacing back and forth, or more, in a circle while his extended arm clung onto the metal pole. His other hand took to untying and retying the tie around his neck, with his shirt completely soaked through, looking as though it hadn't been washed in weeks.

It wasn't that she was judging people like this man. It was just that these people made her uncomfortable. She was small—despite being large in height, she was relatively thin, and hadn't so much as picked up a softball in years, meaning she wasn't exactly what you'd call fit. It was their jerking movements, their seemingly contagious uneasiness, and most of the time, unhygienic appearance that only added to the fear that Shawn already felt.

Thomas wasn't mad at her. He never seemed to be angry, even though throughout their childhood together, Shawn had done countless stupid things that would've angered anyone. But not Thomas. Two years older than Shawn, he'd always had her back. Even now. Of course, he'd reached out to her throughout the past few years, more than Shawn would've liked, when it was clear that she wasn't interested in the interactions. He would send her pictures of her nephew, updates about their parents—which Shawn hated the most. That's why, over two years she ignored every single one of his calls, emails, and texts. Except for this one.

She wasn't sure what it was about the call. It came late in the day, after returning from the grocery store, tossing her cold coffee in the garbage, her mind running wild with a challenge. When her phone rang, the shrilling tune bringing her out of her trance for just a moment, she didn't hesitate to answer it.

Thomas hadn't even attempted to hide his surprise, nor his contentment at the fact that he'd finally gotten through to her—that she was finally willing to speak to him. He then invited her to his home in New York City, where Shawn had been only once before.

Thomas also hadn't hidden his disappointment when she declined his offer to come to his birthday party, though his excitement for her agreeing to come into New York to visit overpowered that. A part of Shawn was bothered by this—Thomas had thought she'd finally overcome whatever it was that she was running from, and was ready to return to it. But he was wrong.

"Thank you," Shawn said curtly, nodding her head at the bus driver as she stepped off the final stair, landing on her jello-like legs on the pavement.

She took a moment to stretch—after remaining seated for so many hours, she felt the effects of finally being able to stand. Looking around her, she heard the bus drive away, smelled the excess fuel burning the air. Even from not being here for years, Shawn knew the route. She knew exactly where to go from here—she didn't need to look to her phone for directions, which Thomas had sent her over both email and text messages, out of fear that she would get lost.