Every String Attached | GirlxGirl

Chapter Six

"Really, Shawn, we're so happy you came. Thomas is so happy—I haven't seen him like this in so long."

Although it was meant to be a compliment—to be welcoming—it stung Shawn. Her eyes narrowed, lips pursed as she poured glasses to take out into the yard, where Thomas was waiting for them with Nash and burgers on the grill.

It was meant to be kind, but its effect was the opposite. Rachel hadn't seen him this happy in so long. And that was because of Shawn, because she'd locked him out of her life, for so long.

She couldn't help but feel extremely guilty.

"You're alright, right? You're okay with being here?" Rachel asked, an eyebrow raising now as suspicion rose. "I don't know what Thomas said to you, I mean, I don't mean this badly but... well, it was a surprise when he told me you were coming. He didn't force you out of your comfort zone, did he?"

"No, not at all. I agreed to come, I wanted to come," Shawn answered, which was true. However, the entire trip did put her way out of her comfort zone. For so many years, she'd been used to it just being her and Chance, or her and a girl she was just meeting for the first time. Chance had become her family, and she'd grown so used to that, that now being back here, with that familiar scent of her brother, and seeing her own nephew, she was on edge. It was nerve wracking. Despite being so accepting to Shawn's clear mistakes, she felt that if she said the wrong thing, Rachel and Thomas would be angry with her, and kick her out, sending her back to Boston. And then no longer try to reach her anymore.

This would never happen, though. Shawn assured herself of this as she carried the filled glasses outside, setting them down on their glass patio table, and taking a seat beside Nash. He held a hand out for her, taking her index finger in his grip. He could say few words now, he'd demonstrated it: mom, dad, cat, park. Shawn knew it would be a long time before he said her name—he wasn't old enough yet, but he also needed to know who Shawn was, and hear her name hundreds of time before saying it himself.

"There you are, and without ketchup, of course." Thomas set a plate in front of her; a single burger without her least favourite condiment in the world, and with the others she loved. Shawn thanked him in return, though still felt in debt about the entire situation.

"Maybe, in a little while, you guys could come to Boston," Shawn suggested. She kept her eyes lowered as she spoke, taking her burger in her hands and holding it to her mouth, though not taking a bite. She was aware of Thomas and Rachel's exchanged looks of surprise. She continued, "My apartment is pretty big, and we have a spare room. We could set something up, I could buy a crib for Nash—"

"That would be great, Shawn," Rachel interjected, stopping her before she ranted for too long.

"I mean it, I'm not just throwing the offer out there. Boston is great, it's quieter than New York. I could show you guys around, you could meet my best friend and housemate, Chance. I'd really like for you all to come," Shawn insisted.

Thomas was still looking at Rachel, with his mouth full of burger, and he swallowed harshly. "Okay. What about in two weeks? It could be a late birthday celebration for you," he suggested.

Shawn nodded in agreement, realizing she'd almost forgotten her birthday was coming up, with all the talk about Nash's. She'd gotten to see firsthand at how obsessive Thomas and Rachel were with Nash—Thomas, especially. She'd been overwhelmed with information about his eating and sleeping habits, about his "friends" from daycare, and his interests—as if an almost one year old child could have a favourite colour or a favourite sports team.

Despite that, it was nice hearing about their lives through the stories they shared about Nash. She hadn't realized just how much she'd missed them until she was here.

And maybe that's why she'd agreed to come in the first place. Maybe there was a subconscious part of her that decided it had been long enough, that she was aching to see them; to be around someone that was family other than Chance. Whatever it was that made her come, she was glad. She was grateful for it.

-

"Do you know that girl or something?" Rachel asked. She shifted Nash, who rested on her hip, his head moving back and forth as he looked at his surroundings.

There wasn't much to this park. There was a small, metal playground, which was falling apart and looked somewhat unsafe. And then there was a hiking path, which they walked on now, with no intentions of going to the farthest point, but just to explore the woods and talk—away from the screaming kids and gossiping mothers in the playground.

Following Rachel's eyes, Shawn noticed a girl: dark brown hair framing her pale, freckled face. She held a dog leash in one hand, with her husky at her side. Despite Rachel staring back at her, she didn't break her eye contact with Shawn.

"No, I don't," Shawn dismissed.

Thomas laughed, waiting until the quartet was out of earshot of the girl before saying, "Shawn's just being humble. She's used to that: girls staring at her. She's a catch, really. Always has been." He flashed her one of his charming smiles, to which Shawn turned away, but couldn't help but share the contagious grin.

"Really?" Rachel asked. "What about now, back in Boston? Do you have a girlfriend?"

Shawn shook her head, her hands tucked inside the sleeves of her coat to protect herself from the cold. She found that it was warmer here than it was in Boston when she left this morning, but with the sun gradually setting, the air was becoming much cooler. She answered, "No, I don't."

"I'm sure Shawn has had plenty of company there, though. I'm sure she isn't lonely," Thomas said, winking. Shawn remembered how protective he used to be, though. He hated Hunter at first, but once he realized how great she actually was—really, there wasn't a single person who disliked her—he opened up to the idea of her dating. And now that she was nearly twenty four, he wasn't the same overbearing older brother.

"That's not completely untrue," Shawn laughed, lowering her head to the ground as she spoke. She watched her footsteps, the converse silently pressing against the paved pathway. "But no, nothing serious."

"When you do find something serious, I want to hear all about it," Rachel said, rocking Nash back and forth in her arms and eliciting stupefied noises.

Shawn agreed, though she could never imagine herself calling Rachel after her first date with York. York.

She realized then that she hadn't thought much of the girl all day, when she'd spent the entire past week thinking of what was the next move, or, what first move was. And then, as soon as Rachel had mentioned "something serious," all thoughts went straight to York. Shawn had to remind herself that she knew nothing about York—there may not even be a first move. But she wanted there to be one, wanted to hope for it, because for the first time in a long time, she wanted something with someone. For once, she wanted something permanent.

These past few days were turning out to be a revelation of firsts—or at least, firsts that hadn't occurred in a long, long time.