Eliza
I looked around the tiny Church where the funeral was held, different mosaic artwork everywhere and on everything that was glass. Right about now my grandmother is telling us how great Erica is or why she couldn't believe she'd do such a thing i tuned out most of it, one because i just want to get over this and go home and shut the world out, something i've been doing for years and two,
Well actually i don't have a second reason.
Looking to my left and to my right both my father and Chris were looking like they were dozing off, i didn't want to be disrespectful and pull out my phone to play candy crush or fall asleep since i was her daughter. Melissa decided not to come after all since she was my father fiance and she didn't want my mother's family to talk about her because they always had this dream i heard of before i was born 'Aaron and Erica will be together forever'. Of course they were disappointed that didn't happened but who's cares.
"I Just feel like failure as a mother because she had something hidden and killed her self, god tells us when we go, not us or anybody else. Only god" My Grandmother sobbed miserably.
All my aunts Vanessa , Angel , Patty, Mills , Shanice , Christle , Amor and my uncles Darren and Bobby were all crying like babies because their younger sister committed suicide, yes my mother was the youngest of 11 and i only named 9 because two of my uncles Jamal and Tony are in prison for drugs.
"She was an amazing kind hearted young women, Even though she had Eliza at 16, She was strong and i was strong for her to, I made sure i help raise her which she clearly didn't need any, she was very independent, great title for a women that was young" she smiled i assume she had happy and nice memories flying around in her head which was covered in a curly wig and one of those huge hats. "When she married Jesse she was so happy i never approve of him but he made my daughter happy so i was alright. Sadly Jesse can't be here, But Eliza can you come up" She said in my direction which made everybody turn theirs necks as if they were owls. I heard somebody Whisper 'Why isn't she crying' or something similar to that, Unlike a lot of people , i did my crying privately. Of course i was hurt by her killing herself but now i'm fine and over it.
Chris and my father both gripped my hands tightly encouraging me to go up there and speak , i didn't even read the paper all the way i only read a sentence then stopped. Chris stood up taking my hand and helping me up, which i didn't have a problem doing it myself. I stood up straight pulling my white button up down i could feel eyes burning holes through my backside and head, i got nervous because i hate attention and being stare at because it reminded me of Jesse, the way he'll give me death stares always frighten me.
"You'll be okay" Chris assured in a whisper. i nodded annoyedly walking up my grandmother. She quickly embraced me in a warming and loving hug before taking her seat. I breathe slowly before looking at the group of people on both side of the church ; my mother family on the left and friends and associates on the right.
'My Mother , Erica Jean Williams- Ramson was the best mother i could ask for or anybody could ask for, she was always there for-" i coughed a bit ; thats a lie, she was never there for me. not even when it wasnt anything to do with Jesse, maybe something simple like can you come see the tiny play i was in? the answer would always be 'sorry sweetie i have to work maybe you can ask Jess.'
It was a disappointment that she couldn't even take off for her daughter, i never asked Jesse for anything! either it was my mother or nobody. Most of the time when my mom couldn't go ill call my dad, at the time he lived in New york or was out somewhere and about and his answer would always be 'Baby girl tell me the time and ill catch the fastest plane there' it was nice to know my father would drop anything he's doing to see me, as much my mother tried to push him away he still wouldn't take no as an answer.
I Cleared my throat a bit before reading again, "She was the best mother i could ask for or anybody could even ask for, she was always there for me when i needed her. We always had a great bond together; Me, my mother and Je-ss-e had so much fun together, we had so many vacations spending time with each other. My mother loved me and Je-ss-e relationship, he always thought of me as his own." i trailed off rereading the words again in my head, i looked up to see my father and Chris clenching their jaws from Jesse name , i knew how much they wanted to hurt him , well Chris already hurt the devilish man but my dad might kill his ass, torture him.
I sighed as I felt tears burn the back of my eye , something that always happen when I lie, I hide it easily with some type of catch phrase like 'I got something in my eye' something dumb and people actually fall for it.
"Ahem, I'm sorry about that : " jesse was always there when my father had something better to do. I always thought he was a better father figure.. in my life?" I said confused, this Was a lie, my grandmother knew my father always wanted to help.
"I'm sorry I can't do this... I can't lie saying everything was so goodie goodie when it wasn't!" I had tears streaming down my face. I stared at the paper I had in my hand, lie after lie!
"Do y'all even know the truth?" my voice sounded like it was getting lower.
"Does anybody besides my father and Chris knows the truth?" Elders jump from the cracking in my voice. People started whisper and shaking their head no while my grandmother reappeared next to me.
"what are you doing Eliy?" she whispered in my ear.
I sighed deeply "Granny you don't know?"
"Sweetie i don't know what?" she said in her sweet tone.
"Does anybody knows the real reason why Jesse went to Jail, does anybody know why my mother killed herself?" i said calmly yet frustrated , this shit was on the news! well Jesse was.
"Nobody knows Baby" She said.
I nodded my head indicating her to go back to her seat. Maybe the truth should be out after all?
"Jesse--"
"What about me?"
I heard a husky voice say, i know that voice from anywhere. i look up seeing Jesse in the flesh with handcuffs and a decent suit attire with two fellow muscular Police Officers beside him.
"C'mon Eli you can say it, i'm already in jail for it so what's the problem?" He rant. Everybody had a confused facial expression, Looking at me to Jesse and vice versa.
My father kept his head down because if he look up all hell would let loose in this church. i kept my head down low, how was he able to come here?
"Eli don't you want them to know the truth?" He went on.
"What is he talking about Baby?" my Grandmother asked.
I took a deep breathe, i felt like it was my last.. this was too overwhelming..
"Jesse went to jail because he been raping me for 4 ½ years." I announced trailing off, gasps filled the hall.
"the night my mother killed herself ; she found me in the attic listening to some tape. it was evidence that SHE ; told him to ra-pe me when i was thirteen , she only knew he done it twice not for almost five years. she killed herself because she knew she was guilty for starting something cruel and she wouldn't want to face me when i gained enough courage to look at her." whispers continued as i spoke. Jesse just stared. he was already punished , my mother was already punished.
"I love my mother with all my heart and i cant deny that some of me hate her, but Erica Jean Williams ; I just hope you rot in hell"
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Chapter 12.3 is coming soon; hopeful during the week or by next sunday! so keep the look out
Lol i know im late but anybody else see that picture of Chris and Kae on Her IG? they kiss weird lmaoo.
-KayKae| Kennedy <3
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Smile The Pain Away...
Fanfiction*** SOME CHAPTERS ARE PRIVATE; FOLLOW TO READ *** FIRST CHAPTER CONTAINS MAJOR SEXUAL CONTENT. Seventeen year old Eliza Williams is a sweet, nice and beautiful girl said by many at school of course. But at home , her step father beats her and more...
