Songbird (Tradley AU)

Chapter Six - Under The Premise of "Friends"

••• dream •••

"I love you, Trissy." James sniffed quietly as I gently kissed tears off of his cheeks "I'm so so so sorry, I'm a mess why would anyone do that to him?" He asked, pleading me for answers I didn't have

"I don't know baby, I don't know." I whispered, brushing my hands through his blonde hair "but, Connor wouldn't want you to cry over him would he now? He'd want you to take his death and turn it into a movement, make people realise that there is still violence against us and the rest of the LBGBT community, that's what he'd want you to do, and I'm not in anyway undermining your feelings right now Jamesy, because I can only imagine how much it hurts that he's gone, but you've just gotta stay strong, yeah? We can get through this."

"M-mhm." My fiancé sniffed, wrapping his strong arms around me "you're right, but it hurts so bad." He cried into my shoulder "I-I think I'm going to go to bed...can you come with me?"

"Anything for you baby." I smiled, following him up the stairs and helping him get ready for bed as grief had already exhausted all expendable energy from his body, leaving him weak and tired, beyond any way I had seen him before.

Once we were in bed, I wrapped my arms protectively around what was mine and kissed him good night before falling asleep.

"Tristan! Wake up!" A crying voice woke me, I opened my eyes and saw it was James' mother "it's James! He's...he's..." She sobbed, me sitting up urgently

"What's happened to him?! Where is he?!" I asked, extremely worried as I became aware that he wasn't snuggled up next to me.

"He's dead!" She cried, the words being fragmented through sobs and cries as my entire world crashed down in front of me

No no no no no no he can't be dead he was just here

"No!" I cried out, my eyes filling with tears "He can't be dead! I was speaking to him last night! What!? How did he...I'm so confused!" I sobbed, this not being the awakening I wanted at all.

"He committed suicide in the early hours of the morning." His mother sobbed, sitting down on the edge of my bed and wrapping her arms around him "he didn't leave a note, and the police found him whilst they were searching for some stolen goods." She whispered as I just sobbed into her shoulder

You should've done something you idiot, why didn't you do something, you did nothing and now he's gone.

"I can't believe he's really gone."
I whispered, the numbness of losing him beginning to settle its way into my heart "what am I going to do without him?"

••• end of the dream •••

"You alright there?" Brad asked, brushing my hair out of my face as I opened my eyes "bad dream again?"

"Um...you could say that." I sighed, rubbing my hands over my face before looking up at Brad "I thought you had to go to work today, Curley?"

"I did have to go to work today, you're correct. But I called in sick because I wanted to spend time with you again today." He blushed

"Oh man." I sighed "you're gonna get so fired oh lord, um, I wasn't planning on doing anything, I was just going to spend all day up here sleeping."

"You do that every day, so that's no surprise." He rolled his eyes "either up here or on the couch."

"Yeah well, I don't really have much else to do...I don't have work until next week and I don't really have friends anymore...no reason to go outside." I shrugged, getting comfy in bed again.

"Am I not your friend?" Brad pouted, climbing over me as I turned over

"Nah, you're an annoying little shit that won't let me sleep all day." I smirked playfully

"Yeah well...I don't know I'm not good at this game." He whined, folding his arms over his chest

"See, I win." I smiled "sleep."

"Nope." He shook his head "you're not going back to sleep, c'mon, get up." He said, grabbing my arms by the wrist and pulling me up so that I was in a sitting position, he moved so that he was sat on my lap, looking at me.

I rolled my eyes "okay okay, what do you wanna do?"

"This." He whispered quietly, putting his hand on my cheek and slowly leaning in until our lips touched, this was the first time we had kissed like this, and goddamn his lips were so soft and everything I had thought they'd be, and everything I didn't expect at the same time, it was amazing.

"Oh." I said, a little shocked from how much of a good kisser he was "shit, man."

"What?" He asked quietly, biting his lip "was that not good enough?"

"No no no no that was amazing." I breathed quietly "in fact, I'd love to do it again," I raised an eyebrow before he leant down and began kissing me again, my arms finding their way around his waist as he slipped his tongue into my mouth, both of us exploring and familiarising ourselves with the feeling of kissing  each other.

After a good few minutes of making out, Brad pulled away from me and looked at me for a few moments more.

"Really though, what do you wanna do today?" He asked, getting off of me

"I dunno? Chill and watch a movie? Is that what friends do? I don't know?" I asked

Brad shrugged "I don't know man, I could go and get some snacks or something and we could watch a horror movie?" He suggested

"Yeah, okay, sounds great, let's do that." I smiled, sitting up "do you want some money towards the snacks or are you good?"

Brad shrugged again "I dunno, £5 towards it? Then I could probably get some Doritos and dip as well as popcorn and cola?"

"Mmkay." Hummed, getting £5 out of my wallet that was on my bedside table and passing it to him "see ya in a bit."

"Bye." He smiled, taking the money and walking out of the room.

What even are we? Because whatever we are it hurts because I want him to be mine. I want to tell him everything, I want him to know that I love him.