Valimina Xlie

Chapter Nine

A/N: Please know that what you are about to read involves some real life situations and I do not mean for it to sound like I'm joking about suicide, trust me I'm not. For your sake I did not go deep into it, but if you find it offensive or disrespectful please feel free to jump to the second scene in this chapter.

Just want to say this... if you're going through a tough time, please don't feel like you're alone or that you're worthless or like no one would notice if you're gone. Believe me when I say they will notice. You are loved and people care, you just have to try and overlook those who don't show it and take in the warmth of those who do and truly mean it. I won't go all soppy on you, but seriously... if you need someone to talk to then speak up even if you don't think you do. You may feel fine, a little upset at times but you might feel fine, don't think it to be nothing because the truth is you could be in denial so PLEASE speak up even if you feel it's unnecessary. Okay? I love you guys and I don't want anything to happen to you, you know that right? Be safe and know you mean the world to people, and to some you are their whole universe. I couldn't see myself smiling any longer if I found out that you guys-my chipmunks- were to get hurt in any way.

Dang it, now I'm crying. UGH, SHMINGOOLIE!!!!! Alright, I'm better now. -sniff; don't mind me. I'll j-just let you read t-the b-book. -sniff and a snot bubble;
😦😟😢😞😖

Oh
Hold on, hold on to me
'Cause I'm a little unsteady
A little unsteady
Oh
Hold on, hold on to me
'Cause I'm a little unsteady
A little unsteady

Mama, come here
Approach, appear
Daddy, I'm alone
'Cause this house don't feel like home

If you love me don't let go
(Ahh, ahh)
Whoa
If you live me don't let go
(Ahh, ahh)

Oh
Hold on, hold on to me
'Cause I'm a little unsteady
A little unsteady
Oh
Hold on, hold on to me
'Cause I'm a little unsteady
A little unsteady

Mother, I know that you're tired of being alone
Dad, I know you're trying to fight when you feel like flying

But if you love me don't let go
(Ahh, ahh)
Whoa
If your love me don't let go
(Ahh, ahh)

Oh
Hold on, hold on to me
'Cause I'm a little unsteady
A little unsteady
Oh
Hold on, hold on to me
'Cause I'm a little unsteady
A little unsteady
Oh
Hold on, hold on to me
'Cause I'm a little unsteady
A little unsteady

One of my favorite songs played softly in the background while I sat in my tub, tears rolling down my face- not just because of the song, but also because of my best friend who is missing in action. Only three hours had passed and it was passed two in the morning, but I couldn't sleep. I didn't have the will power to close my eyes. I stare blankly at the faucet across from me with sore eyes. I hadn't blinked in a few minutes and the stinging sensation felt amazing. It was like a substitute for the blood that I craved for to run down my arms. I felt lost, empty-completely hallow, alone, numb, dead and I wished I were. Alania had always been here to block out those thoughts. She had been my caregiver, guardian angel, and my shoulder to lean on when I felt this way; but I wouldn't feel this way if she were here. I had begged her to come back to me, to never let me go and to shelter me from the world for those full three hours and I haven't stopped. The ache in my heart never ceased even as my body became numb to the bitter cold of the bath water that had lost its warmth thirty minutes after I got in-two hours before now. The pain burned me to the touch whenever I lifted a hand to clutch at the pressure in my chest. It felt like razors had glided across my skin. It was a shame that I couldn't even touch my own body without being hurt now. Heat was constantly coursing through my veins, but it did nothing to warm me up, instead it hurt almost as bad as if poison had been injected through an artery and I was beginning to feel the after shock. It only grew worse with every move I made, like daggers ripping me to shreds though I never peeped a sound, not even a grimace. I welcomed the pain and embraced it, a long lost friend that had finally returned after saying goodbye those many years ago when Alania woke up.