freshie // s.w ON HOLD

XII

AVALON GILINSKY

He pulls away as I touch my lips, his words hitting me.

"We shouldn't be doing this Sam," I whisper, his eyes still closed and his arms around my waist. "Av, please, you can come to my house and we can do more..." He rasps into my ear, kissing my neck. I push away and shake my head and run inside.

-

I wake up the next morning, feeling groggy and sweaty. I look next to me and see Sammy. My eyes widen as I try to get out of the bed slowly, failing at my attempts, his strong arms around me and pulling me closer. After a while he will untighten, so I try to get out but he just pulls me back in. I groan after three tries, and he finally loosens for a long enough time for me to get out. He gets restless and when he can't find me, he starts moving around. I run out of my room before he can find me.

I go downstairs and start making breakfast. Once I finish and place all the food on the table, I hear the rumbling. Five hungry boys rush down the stairs and I make my plate before they eat everything. They all sit, but the only one I notice is Sammy. I stare at his back, the sunlight from the window shining onto him, letting his tan skin glisten.
I turn my head and body, walking away to go upstairs. I feel a tight jerk on my wrist and see Sammy's face when I turn around. His mouth full of eggs and two pieces of bacon in each hand.

"Why don't you eat with us?" He asks, almost in the image of a little kid. I can't help but give in, sitting on the end of the bench next to him.

He hands me one of his pieces of bacon, suggesting for me to take it. I hesitantly take it from him, and he watches my every bite, his eyes glazed over. After I'd finished the last bite, I turned to him. His inscrutable smirk was plastered on his face, and he turned his head to focus on finishing his food.

They began talking about usual boy things, how hot some girls I couldn't recall the names of were, or stories of who put out and who was a prude. It was stupid, really, their conversations. Boring even. I was bored of high school, and I was only a freshman.

I picked up my plate, rinsing it and putting it in the dish washer. I looked back up and found Sammy, his eyes wanting to say something but his lips saying something else. I then realized I hadn't heard a word he'd said.

"Av, are you going to just stand there?" Jack said, all the boys staring at me, including Sam. "What?" I breathed out, heat rising in my cheeks. They had to have been a dark crimson by now.

"We're going to Anna's house, and we wanted to know if you'd watch the house," Sam repeated, and I rolled my eyes and mumbled,"of course," before complying, and marching upstairs.

I longed for him to stay, to tell me he didn't want to go see Anna, that he wanted to hold me and watch movies all day, just like he knew I loved to do. I wanted him to run back inside and tell me he wanted them to leave without him. I wanted him to tell me he'd rather stay home eating cold pizza and sour patch and play monopoly with me at home instead of getting laid by the prettiest senior, that just happened to be his ex. I wanted him. More importantly, I wanted to be his.

But instead of telling him that, I gazed at him out of my window, walking to his car with all of the boys.

And then I watched him drive away.