Dead Without You (MarkiplierXReader)

Part 18

"I know you're not that kind of person." He smiled at me and I smiled back.

I sat in my room. I know he said he believed me, but what if he didn't? Okay now your just stupid, he wouldn't say something that isn't true, why would he? He has no reason. I started rocking myself a little holding onto my knees that pushed against my chest. Why am I always so paranoid? It's in my nature I guess, is that a good thing? Is it a bad thing? Is it an anything? I don't know. My thoughts are stupid, my face is stupid, I'm stupid. Why should Mark believe me? He shouldn't. He could've been lying... Why would he lie? He must have a reason! I need to do something. What could I do to make it up to him. Make him believe me. What are you talking about stupid, he wasn't lying. He has no reason. Hearing a knock at my door I looked up.

"Yes?" I quickly said. Mark opened the door and paused keeping his eyes on me.

"Y/n you okay?" He questioned.

"Yeah." I answered even quicker. He looked down then back at me as he held onto the doorknob swaying in the doorway.

"I just wanted to tell you I was gonna go to sleep." He stopped swaying and leaned on the doorframe staring at me. He looked stiff, and his face looked a bit puzzled. "Are you sure your okay?" He slowed his words.

I nodded, just a bit paranoid but he didn't need to know that. "Yeah." I said just as quick as before. Mark stopped leaning on the doorframe and walked into my room sitting on the end on my bed. He looked down to his hands that rested on his knees.

"Y/n?" He didn't look at me.

"Yeah?" I asked in a normal speed, I was curious to what he'd say. Was he going to kick me out?

"You don't have to do that." She said quietly. Do what?

"Hm?" I let go of my legs and leaned towards Mark.

"You don't have to lie." He turned his hanging head to face me. I must've looked white as a ghost, how did he know? My eyes were wide and my mouth hung open a little. "Y/n what's bothering you?" He asked quietly.

"Um..."

"You can tell me anything, don't ever think that you can't." Mark looked into my eyes, he was serious.

"Well..." I rubbed the back of my neck, I really didn't want to tell him that I doubted him. "I um..." Looking back at him I remembered that he wouldn't fall for a lie I make up on the spot. "I was just paranoid." I looked down.

"About what?" He asked. I licked my lips.

"That, well," I made a mistake, I looked at him again, I couldn't lie to him. "I was paranoid that you didn't believe me and wanted me to leave." I closed my eyes scrunching up my face. Now finally he's going to kick me out, why'd I tell him. I felt something touch my chin. I opened my eyes to see Mark holding my head in his right hand as he leaned on his left.

"Y/n I'm not going to kick you out, I believe you. Don't worry." He pulled me into a hug. At first I didn't hug back, I was too shocked. Shouldn't he be angry? Slowly I wrapped my own arms around him. My face was buried in his chest and I wanted to cry. This man...

This man...

I sniffled. I don't want to cry on him, it'll get his clothes wet. I blinked multiple times before just deciding to close them. I pulled away, I needed to cry and I wasn't about to ruin his shirt. Tears started to roll down my cheeks as Mark sat there. He's done so much for me, I can't do anything for him. He's the best person I've ever met and I'm probably one of the worst he's ever met. I closed my eyes again holding my knees as I cried into them. I felt Mark's warm embrace as he continued to hug me.

"Don-n't you'll get w-wet." I balled.

"It's okay." His voice was calm. I can't believe him, he's amazing. I leaned on him and cried there. My shit life has led me to a perfect person and I could not be more grateful for Mark. I grabbed onto his shirt as his grip tightened around me. He gave me a warm feeling in my stomach, I think that was a good thing. For the first time in a long time, I feel safe. I feel like no one can get to me because Mark is my guard protecting me from the unforgiving outside world. He could make me smile without a word. He could wipe my tears when I cried. He could fight away anything that came to harm me. He was Mark, he was amazing.

When I finally stopped crying Mark didn't stop hugging me. I appreciated him being there for me, him being the only one. When I wasn't crying I was sniffling with my eyes closed. I stayed leaning against Mark's warm body, grasping onto his shirt.

"Thank you." I whispered to him. He just hummed as he very slowly let go of me. While he removed his arms he looked me in the eyes. His warm smile made me happy.

"You gonna be okay?" He asked quietly. I think once Mark leaves so will my smile. Being safe will soon be but a distant memory. I looked to my feet as I slowly shrugged my shoulders. The answer was no, but I wasn't going to tell him that. "Y/n?" I looked up at Mark. He was looking up as he opened his mouth to say something but closed it again. He looked right at me before speaking. "Y/n, if you want you can... You can sleep upstairs... With me." Moving his jaw weirdly, I could tell he was nervous about the answer. I got that warm feeling again, a small smile came back as well. I slowly nodded. He grinned as he got off the bed pulling me up by my hand with him.

_______

I laid in the dark under the covers of Mark's bed as he was in the bathroom changing into sleeping clothes. Am I going to really sleep in this bed with him? Won't that bother him? I laid on my side facing the wall, he wouldn't want to see my face anyway. I heard the squeak of Mark's door being opened. He was going to sleep. This was a mistake, there was no point of me being in here I'll just take up room I should-

Mark's are wrapped around my waist. All my worries melted away. He cared, this wasn't a mistake. I closed my eyes.

"Are you okay?" He whispered. Scooting closer to me.

"Couldn't be better." I whispered back as I drifted into sleep.

________

Seriously I am SO SO SO SO SO SOOOOOO SORRYY!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel so bad about taking so long, like I need to get my shit together and I'm sorry about that but like one more week and I think I'll be back.. You know unless I get so much homework... Yeah so next week here's my plans

Monday- relax
Tuesday- have my birthday party sleepover
Wednesday- my friends will be there till idk
Thursday- write as much as possible
Friday- school starts (why Friday?)

And this weekend I'll try to write as much as possible as well and try to get chapters ready for the days I can't write. I hope this works out! Thank you guys so much for your patience, I can't even believe it you guys are amazing and I don't deserve you. Sorry in advance if you don't shear from me for a while.

-Me