True Love with a Terrible Past

Chapter 12

"Well there are a l-lot of Shane's Josh, Shane w-who?" I stutter. God, what if it's the Shane I know.

He is quite, like he was thinking...

Or examining me.

I squirm under his eyes. He lets out a deep breath.

"Um Shane Bond? Shane Blonde? Shane-" I cut him off by saying "Shane Blonder?" He nods his head and then turns to walk away.

"I-I am r-really s-sorry Josh." I stutter looking at the ground. I can't face him. I ruined his whole life because I was in 'love' with an asshole who killed our family. People say I made a mistake, that it wasn't my fault. They say I didn't know what was going to happen. But no matter what they say it IS MY fault. My family told me to he was bad. I didn't believe them. Even when I found out he was a DRUG DEALER, I thought he just needed a push to the good side. When he asked me to KILL people I thought he had a good reason, like hey they weren't paying. When he asked me to sleep with him I told him no, I thought he would understand why I didn't want to. I was stupid. Very, very stupid.

He stopped and turned to face me. He opened and shut his mouth a couple of times before finally saying "I know your sorry...but I just can't seem to forgive you." He then stared at me, like he was examining my reaction to what he said.

I stared into his eyes.

"I know," I choked out before I continued. "I will never forgive myself for not listening to you guys. I know it is a lot to ask but..." I stared at him terrified what how he is going to respond to this. "Will you please not shut me out of your life. W-will you p-please talk t-to me?"

He stares at me blankly. At first I thought he was going to make an ass out of me or call me crazy but instead he says "I guess I'll have to think about that." He gives me a half smile. When he is out of sight I still stand there in shock.

Holy shit. Did he just say he will think about it. He didn't say no. Just...

HOLY SHIT!