Feeling This

Chapter Sixteen

"Where's Tom?" Nicolette asked. She tried not to sound worried when Travis came up to the merch table. She just thought it was odd that Mark and Travis were both here and Tom was nowhere to be seen.

"I saw him heading backstage with some chick," Rick answered. Nicolette's head turned towards the photographer immediately, but he was just looking down at his camera as always, not realizing the impact of his words. "Dude's gonna get laid."

Nicolette turned to the box of T-shirts on the floor, finding the right size the customer had asked for. She could feel Mark's eyes on her and she just knew he was giving her a look of pity. But Nicolette wasn't going to react. Rick could be wrong for all she knew; she wasn't going to jump to conclusions. She trusted Tom.

After she had helped a few more customers, she spotted Tom across the venue, emerging from backstage...with a girl. Still, that didn't prove anything. And neither did the way the girl lustfully looked at Tom before waving goodbye and joining the crowd leaving the venue.

But when Tom couldn't look Nicolette in the eyes when he reached the merch table, when he didn't even glance in her direction, Nicolette knew something had happened.

It felt like her chest was splitting in two. She bit her lip to stop herself from crying. She didn't understand. What had she done to deserve this?

She forced a smile and went back to work. Nicolette refused to let this affect her; she refused to be hurt. No one had that power over her, not even Tom DeLonge.

Nicolette knew she needed to pull her shit together before she got back to the bus. So when she had helped the last customer and Cam started to pack up the remaining merch, she made an excuse about needing to use the restroom.

She turned past the corner and entered the hallway where the bathrooms were, ignoring the footsteps behind her.

"Nicolette, wait!" Tom called after her just as she reached the door. Nicolette winced from the sound of her full name. Tom never called her that, only Nic or Nicky when he wasn't using other pet names. "I can explain."

"Explain what?" Nicolette spun around to face him, trying to keep her voice from cracking. Tom's mouth was open but no words came out; he just stared at her, his eyes shining with guilt. "Did you sleep with her?"

"I'm so sorry, Nicky," he whispered. And with that, every last ounce of Nicolette's strength that had been holding her together seemed to vanish. The pain in her chest was unbearable. She felt like she was going to be sick.

Nicolette shook her head slightly, not wanting to believe it was true. "Why? Why did you do it?" She hated how she was begging for answers, but she needed to know. She didn't care how desperate or weak it made her seem.

"We..." Tom furrowed his eyebrows and closed his eyes, as if trying to clear his head. Either that or he was coming up with some sort of excuse. "We can't be together." He timidly met Nicolette's gaze.

"So instead of fucking telling me that, you have sex with someone else?" she rejoined, raising her voice. Tears started to prick her eyes but she blinked them back.

"I couldn't-"

"Was it because I wouldn't have sex with you earlier today?" she asked, cutting Tom off when the memory dawned on her.

"What? No, Nic. That's not it at all. This was all me-"

"You're damn right it was," Nicolette spat. Tom winced. Served him right. "I hope you're happy, Tom. You got what you wanted. We're over."