Feeling This

Chapter Eighteen

A/N: you're very welcome for that gif btw ;) smut warning. 

"You guys look like a giant vagina and penis soup right in front of me."

Nicolette rolled her eyes as Tom's voice filled the venue, signaling that it was time for Blink to take the stage. His dumb jokes that used to make her laugh now only upset her. It had been four days since Tom had cheated on her and she was still torn up about it, but here Tom was, joking around and smiling and acting like nothing had even happened, acting like the breakup hadn't hurt him at all. And what upset Nicolette was the possibility that he wasn't acting.

And what upset her even more was that one boy could affect her so much, that he could hurt her so badly that she was still in pain days later. Nicolette didn't like anyone having that kind of power over her. But Tom did. And Mark had the power to make that pain go away for a few minutes when they were together.

Nicolette felt guilty for using Mark, but it was just such a relief not to think about Tom or her feelings for him during those brief moments where she was kissing Mark. And what made her feel even worse was that Mark had to know that she was using him, and he must have been okay with it. He was the one who had initiated the kiss with Nic, knowing full well that she was still getting over her breakup with Tom.

She felt guilty because she liked Mark. She must've if he was able to take her mind off Tom so easily. Mark was cute and funny and smart (at least with literature) and he had helped Nicolette more times than she could count. She had flirted with him a few times at the start of the tour, but just like with Tom, she had never imagined that something might actually happen between them. She had never thought that he would actually like her back, despite her friend Kristy telling her otherwise. And because Nicolette liked Mark, she knew that the right thing to do would be to break things off between them, because he deserved better than to have some girl treating him as if he were some sort of mind-numbing narcotic.

It was all just too much to take in. Nicolette had never felt more confused in her entire life. How could she like Mark if she was obviously not over Tom? And how could she still like Tom – she must have still liked him if she was still this hurt by the breakup, rather than just angry like she had been with Shawn – when he had broken her heart? Why couldn't she just move on from Tom, without using Mark's kisses as aid?

And to add to her confusion, Nicolette had no idea how Mark and Tom had worked things out between the two of them. Mark had been pissed when he had found out Tom had cheated on Nic. But they must have worked things out peacefully because after the show in Virginia Beach, the two had gone back to joking around with each other on stage like the best friends they were. Nicolette was just relieved she hadn't come between the two of them. It probably helped that Tom didn't know she and Mark had gotten together.

Nobody knew. And Nicolette had to keep it that way. So she restrained herself from staring at the stage when Mark stripped off his shirt after the second song in Blink's set. The merch table didn't have any customers at the moment since Blink had just taken the stage, but that didn't mean Nicolette could stare at Mark's chest, trying to spot his nipple piercing that she had only seen once before when he had been walking around in a towel on the tour bus.

It was impossible anyway; Nicolette was too far away from the stage. But she bet the people in the front would be able to see it. That made her feel oddly jealous.

"Son of a bitch," Mark swore, handing his shirt to his guitar tech. "Is it ever not hot in Florida? Like ever?"

"It's all the ladies making me hot," Tom replied. Nicolette dug her fingernails into her palm when his comment made her jealousy flare up again. What the fuck was wrong with her? She couldn't be jealous over two different guys. She shouldn't even be jealous over either of them.