Feeling This

Chapter Twenty

Everything was going perfectly. If Nicolette had known going on tour with her uncle would've been so much fun, she wouldn't have protested so much in the first place. She missed her friends, but she had grown really close to the band and the crew, some members more than others. She enjoyed hanging out with them and getting to see live concerts nearly every night.

Things had even become less awkward with Tom. Granted, Tom still hardly ever looked her in the eyes and he always seemed to avoid being in the same room as her whenever possible. But Nicolette was finally able to look at him without feeling like her heart was being ripped out of her chest. She was still mad at him, but even that anger had dimmed a bit after her realization that she shouldn't have expected anything better from him. There had been dozens of warning signs that Nicolette had just refused to acknowledge.

Maybe she was getting over Tom after all, and it had only taken Nicolette screwing his best friend to do it.

The only thing that could've made things better was if she and Mark didn't have to keep their relationship a secret. As much as she enjoyed holding hands with him beneath the table and him winking at her before the band left for soundcheck, she wanted to be able to kiss him outside of the tour bus bathroom.

And maybe she wanted to rub it in Tom's face that other guys wanted her even if he didn't. Just a little bit.

But she couldn't do that. And she didn't need to. Even if it meant no one ever knowing they were together (except for Rick apparently), Nicolette was just glad to have someone like Mark at her side, whispering sweet nothings and reassurances in her ear long after everyone else on the bus had gone to bed.

She just wished he could do it during the day too. There was so much time to kill before shows, and despite Nicolette coming up with a few fun ideas to occupy their free time, Mark protested, saying it was too risky. Which it was, but she had snuck around with Tom for weeks and had only gotten caught once, or twice if you counted the hotel room.

But Nicolette tried not to be too bitter about it. She had other, less enjoyable, ways to pass the time. She was doing one of them right now: drawing in her sketchbook, which she did genuinely enjoy, just not as much as having sex.

"Nic, can we talk?"

Just from hearing the sound of his voice, addressing her and her alone, a small aching pain shot through her chest. "What's there to talk about?" she replied, not taking her eyes off her paper.

"Please, Nic."

Nicolette sighed and looked up at Tom, his pleading eyes immediately softening her annoyed expression. He was playing with his lip ring nervously, a habit Nicolette had always found adorable. Nicolette just couldn't bring herself to say no to those big brown eyes...

She sighed again and gestured to the empty side of the booth. Tom gave a small smile of relief before sitting down across from her.

"What did you want to talk about?" Nicolette asked, returning her focus to her sketching.

There was a pause of silence before Tom spoke, but not to answer her question. "I've never seen any of your art before. That's really cool." Nicolette glanced up to see Tom staring at her drawing of a smiley face. Tom looked up and met her gaze. "Seriously, Nic. That would look awesome as an album cover."

Her heart fluttered from the compliment, but she rolled her eyes. His flattery was going to get him nowhere.

"It's supposed to show how people smile even when they feel like they're dead inside."