The Silvan (Lord of the Rings-Legolas)[Wattys2016]

Chapter 34: Qalma Liltie

Harsh footsteps echoed through the stone corridor and two guards shared a concerned glance at each other, before resuming their rigid, unmoving positions. Solid oak slammed into stone and then there was silence save for the soft patter of dust settling once more.

Rinion leaned heavily upon a table, his breathing erratic and his mind in utter turmoil.

'A child was conceived...'

How dare he .. push his mother away, banish her in all but word, for what alternative had been left to her?

With a strangled moan, Rinion's hand closed around an ornate vase and hurtled it across the room, smashing it into small pieces, before whirling around and setting his hands on all that lay upon his bookshelves, pulling it all away, smashing it all to pieces, just like his father had done with Rinion's life.

Break it, break it all, shouted his mind as his eyes searched and his hands reached. Smash, break, tear it all apart....

Rinion sat with his legs sprawled out before him, panting and sweating, everything in utter disarray around him. He wanted to scream, to roar his ire to the skies and although he had broken everything that could be broken, still it was not enough and his jaw clenched furiously.

How could he have done the one thing - the one thing that would push her away; show his devotion in the clearest and most unequivocal way to another, one that was not her. For if he knew anything at all about his mother, it was that she loved the king beyond all reason.

His face hardened until it was chiselled ice and his eyes seemed lighter, the irises almost gone. Anger had invaded his soul.

'I loved you once...'

'I love you still...'

You love me but you sent her away, his mind screamed, as if his father could hear him; you sent her away as surely as if you had decreed it. Is the love a father feels for a child secondary, less powerful than the love of his soul mate? Is it? Is the love of a mother undermined by the love she feels for her spouse? he asked himself desperately.

You sacrificed your soul mate, father, for love of king and land, just as surely as you sacrificed the happiness of your own children.

How could you? How could she?

Rinion pulled his knees up and circled them with his arms and there, he lay his head and passed the day, his mind unable to release itself from the endless loop of incomprehension. Who should he blame for this mess his life had become? His father? His mother?

It had always been his father, damn him, and yet now, as soon as he had allowed his mind to ponder the question, the seed of doubt had wormed its way into his soul and he no longer knew.