HunHan [Book 3]: Dealing With Oh Sehun [BoyxBoy]

xxv

Sehun

The taste of Luhan's lips tastes like beer. I pulled him closer to me to deepen our kiss. He's responding to my kisses with the same intensity, hunger, and greed. His soft lips, I always want to brush with mine and mine alone. His actions sets me at ease. I know, I could feel I still have a place in his heart. I know it, and I can see it in his misty eyes.

"No.. no.. no," Luhan whispered before he pushed me. Napahawak sya sa braso nya at hindi magawang salubingin ang tingin ko. I tried to get near him but he wouldn't let me.

"Luhan," I called his name.

"Go home, Sehun. Please."

I hesitated.. yet Luhan, pushed me.

Wala na akong nagawa. I won't give up on him. Not now. I yanked the car keys out of my pocket. I stopped before I reached the gate and lifted my gaze. Our eyes met, his eyes mix with confusion and guilt. At nang makarating ako sa bahay ay sinalubong ako ni Hanse nang may malapad na ngiti sa labi.

"Appa, mom ith wollied."

"Ganun ba?" Napatingin ako kay Yna na nakatayo malapit sa may hagdanan. Yung totoo, I thought we could make it work for Hanse. I thought I can forget about Luhan. And I gave it a chance. I asked her out for dinner, sinunod ko ang sinabi ni Chanyeol but in the end, no. Luhan is tattoed in my head, in my heart and in my whole being. And no one could ever replace him. I don't have anything left to offer to Yna but only a name to our kid, it's all I've got in my sleeve.

"Pinuntahan mo ba sya?"

Ginulo ko ang buhok ni Hanse, "Go to your room first." utos ko na sya namang sinunod nya, "And so, what if I did?" I told Yna. She was taken a back for what I said. I know I'm being such an asshole to her when she only wanted was to have a happy family, and for Hanse to be one happy kid with us around.

"Why can't we just live how we are now? Ito ang pinili mo at yun ang pinili nya. Ito ang pamilya mo at yun ang pamilya nya." Yna held her tears threatening to spill from her eyes. Her eyes full of pain. "Don't look at me as if this was all my fault!" she said. Why am I giving her a cold shoulder? Hindi lang sya ang may kasalanan. I'm responsible for that. I'm at fault too. Kasalanan namin 'to.

"I know," I whispered.

"You said, you'll try."

"I did."

"No, you did not, Sehun. You only use it as an excuse to forget about Luhan. How can you do that when you look at me like I'm a big blot in your life?" Yna said with a brittle tone, and accusations underneath, "Don't do the same thing to Hanse," she continued as she wiped the tears from her cheeks, "Don't hurt him, please."

He's my kid so, why would I? I wanted to say this to her, but I decided to stay quiet. Yna's loud cries filled the living room, our empty house that even if we're living together, we are more like strangers to each other. I took a step forward and gently tapped her shoulder then she hugged me. I only let her. Her arms wrapped around me as if she's damn afraid.

Afraid to be left out again.

When I lifted my gaze, I saw Hanse peeking at us with his expressive rounded eyes. He's giving me those innocent smiles again, and I feel guilty. Why do I always give him a sight of a lie? I'm the baddest father ever lived for I can't put my children first before me. I just don't want Hanse to suffer, to go through the same thing I did. Seeing my parents endless fights, my Dad's rejections and mom's tears.

So I kept running... I don't want to go home and lie. All these years we've been living a lie. Such lie, that his mom and I are... okay.

Luhan