Life's Not A Doughnut

Chapter 12 ~ Before

When I said I thought the fighting was over, I was wrong.

Cassie and Brett are asleep upstairs, so our yells must be dimmed to a harsh whisper.

"Why didn't you tell me?!" Will demands an answer.

I had recently applied for a university scholarship in a nearby city, something I didn't discuss with Will first.

"You never want to talk about the future, Will, so why would I bother to tell you?"

"I'm your boyfriend! We share things! You didn't think to at least mention it?"

"It's not like you'd have had anything to say about it, you never have anything to say to me unless we are fighting."

"That's not true."

"We used to be best friends, Will. I told you everything. Now I feel like I can't say a word without you jumping to conclusions or having a go at me."

"I could say the same to you!"

"I am not the root of our problems here."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, really. It is you who can't talk about anything, especially the future. It is you who has the father who got sick and you took it out on me. It is you who pressures me to do all these sexual things with you and get angry when I say no."

"That is so unfair! You can't play the 'sick father' card on me, that is just heartless of you. As for the other two things, I have never said much and you know it so why is that a big deal now and I clearly don't pressure you into anything because we haven't done anything."

"There you go again, trying to make me feel guilty."

"I'm so fed up with you accusing me of all this shit."

"That's just crap. You play an equal part in all of this, Will."

"Well whatever this is, I want out."

I hesitate. "What are you saying?"

He shrugs unapologetically, "I'm out, Nora. I'm done."

"Will but-"

He grabs his coat and slams the back door behind him. I sink to the floor and listen as the engine of his car starts and he drives away.

Tears fall down my cheeks as I sob quietly on the kitchen floor of the O'Brien house. My heart and my head are exhausted. I feel like eating and vomiting at the same time. I thought I had hit rock bottom. But as it turns out, there is rock bottom, a hundred feet more of crap, and then me.

I cry while feeling my heart break inside of me.

Was it really over? Were me and Will done?

After all these years I wondered if this would be the last time I was in this house as Will's girlfriend. Would I be welcome here if we had broken up? I have partially lived in this home my entire life, surely I could still come over? What about Mia?

All this uncertainty and anxiety was hurting my head. The ground was cold beneath me, my eyes burning from tears. The only light on in the house was in the kitchen and here I was, alone on the floor of it crying my heart out.

"Nora?"

I quickly stand and wipe my eyes. Then I realise it's Mia and relax again.

"Oh," I sniff, "it's you."

"Nors what happened?" She rushes to me wearing a band t-shirt and underwear, her normal sleeping attire. "Did he hurt you?"

"Physically? God no. Unless you count the broken heart." I try to smile weakly but fail.