Life's Not A Doughnut

Chapter 17 ~ Before

"Hey, Nora" Rose side bumps me as she joins my walk to class.

"I am so nervous right now I can barely breathe."

"You will be fine, you rehearsed like a million times and you know what you're talking about. Trust me, you've got this." Rose rubs my shoulder reassuringly.

I can feel the sweat running down my back and my heart pounding against my chest.

"Nora!" I hear my name called from behind us.

Will is jogging through the busy students to reach me. I notice he is holding a small bunch of roses in his hand.

"Hey!" I smile instantly.

He sweeps me off my feet and spins me to the side of the hallway. Rose makes herself busy looking through her Biology folder while she waits.

"Happy anniversary," Will smiles a beautiful smile and kisses my lips softly.

"I can't believe it's been a year."

"And what a year it's been. These are for you," he makes room between us and offers me the sweet smelling flowers.

"They are lovely, Will, thank you."

I kiss his cheek and hug him tightly.

"So I'll see you tonight?"

"You sure will. I have a surprise for you too," I grin cheekily.

"Mysterious. Love you Nora." He pecks my forehead again before leaving me flustered against the wall.

"I'm not feeling the PDA, Nora."

"It's our one year dating anniversary, Rosie, cut us some slack." I laugh.

My happiness soon fades as I remember the presentation I have to give to my entire Biology class.

"Nora," Rose stops and turns me to face her just outside the classroom.  "I'll be right there in the front row. I'm here for you."

I nod at her before we enter the classroom. Mia waves at me from a few rows back as I take my seat. The class starts and the teacher, Mr. Potts, calls me to the front.

As I'm connecting my laptop to the projector and getting out my cue cards, the room is silent. I swear everyone can hear my heart beating and my lungs hyperventilating.

"Whenever you're ready, Nora." Mr. Potts nods from his desk.

I stand beside the projector with my cards in my hands. My PowerPoint presentation was playing on the screen behind me for the class to see while I spoke.

I take a deep breath, glance at my cue cards, then up at the class. It is only then I realise they are smiling and whispering to each other. Rose's face is one of shock, Mia's one of fear and embarrassment. I frown, confused by their reactions.

I look down at myself to see if it is something about my appearance they are making fun of, but everything looks fine to me. Girls are giggling and boys are making suggestive faces.

I turn to the projector behind me and in this moment, I really can't breathe. My presentation is no where to be seen but instead, my digital journal.

In particular, the entry of the day I slept with Mia O'Brien. The words are written plain to see. That entry was a short one, I had no words after what happened. And there those words were, right in front of everyone to see.

'I had sex with Mia O'Brien last night.....what about Will?'

My brain finally kicks in and I pull the cord from my laptop to disconnect the projector. I look around the room, exchanging looks with the watchful eyes of the people in my class.

Rose is hurt. I can see the pain in her eyes that I didn't tell her. I can see that she is disappointed in me, I can practically feel it.

Mia has tears streaming down her cheeks. I'm not the only one who has been accidentally shoved into the spotlight. She's humiliated and embarrassed, something I've never seen on her.

I abandoned my laptop and the rest of my things and hastily exit the classroom. My vision is blurred by tears, my body burning up in mortification.

"Nora!"

I ignore Rose's call and continue to jog towards the school exit.

"Nora just stop and talk to me!"

I spin around quickly and sob.

"I fucked up, Rose. Is that what you want me to say? I made a huge fucking mistake so I'm sorry I can't be perfect all the time. You can be disappointed in me all you want but I can't undo what I did. Mia was just a dumb, stupid mistake that meant absolutely nothing. I love Will, Rose, and I need to find him before someone else tells him."

It's only when I finish babbling through my choked up throat that I realise Mia is leaning against the wall not far from me. Her expression is distraught.

"Mia I-" I stop because I'm lost for words. I don't know what I can possibly say to fix what she has heard.

Tears pour from her eyes and she can barely look at me. Rose turns and looks at her, then back at me.

"Call me when you're ready to actually talk about this."

And with that, Rose goes back to class and I notice Mia is no longer leaning against the wall for support. She isn't there at all.

I turn around again and start towards the doors, bursting out of the school and making my way to go find Will.

I thought I felt guilt before.

That was nothing compared to this.

~~~~~