Life's Not A Doughnut

Chapter 18 ~ Before

As if this day couldn't get any worse.

It was raining and I was running in it. I chose the wrong day not to drive to school. I couldn't help thinking to myself how utterly cliché this all was. But a cliché or not, there was something I had to do and I had to do it now.

I was soaked to my skin by the time I came to bang on the O'Brien's back door.

"Will!? I have to talk to you!"

The sky snaps and thunders above my head. I hit the door again. Nothing happens besides more rain hitting down on me. I rest my head against the door and let out a sob in angst.

I spin around and prepare to run off again to find William. But he is right here, standing across the lawn in the pouring rain, staring at me with painful eyes and sunken shoulders.

"Will," is all I can manage to get out.

"I don't have anything to say to you."

I guess someone told him.

"Please, Will, just hear me out. It was a mistake, ok? I thought we had broken up and she was there for me I.....I didn't mean for it to happen it didn't mean anything it was just.....I was upset and hurt and vulnerable, I don't like Mia like that. I love you, Will." I step towards him and he steps around me to go to the door.
"I can't be without you. I can't not have you in my life I-I- I need you, Will. Please just forgive me. Give me a second chance and I promise I will do whatever you want. I will be anything you want me to be please, Will, just let me be with you. If you need time to figure it out then I will give you time but I will always be waiting for you. I could never stop loving you."

He turns his back on me as his hand rests on the door handle.

"Would you stop being friends with my sister? Would you never talk to her again unless you had to and avoid her as much as possible so we could be together?"

I choke up. I can barely see through the water in my eyes and I feel as though I could collapse at any moment.

"I can't do that, Will. She's.....I still need her. I can't lose Mia."

He stands there breathing heavily and all I am thinking about is how I'm glad I can't see his face. It would break me more than I've already been broken.

"Then you lose me instead."

The door slams, allowing my knees to finally buckle. The grass is cold but I'm already near freezing. However, I can't find it in me to care. Not even the slightest.

"What are you doing here?"

Mia is looking down at the mess on her back lawn, a mess which is me. She is safe from the onslaught of rain under her orange umbrella.

"Mia, I'm so sorry," I'm crying even harder than I was before.

"Okay." She heads quickly for the door.

"Mia, wait, please."

She turns.

"I chose you. He said it was him or you and I realised I couldn't not have you in my life. I am sorry for the way things turned out and I'm sorry everyone found out about what happened."

"Maybe one day we'll be over this. But right now, I'm busy over here  meaning nothing to you. See you around, Nora."

I watch her enter her house and close the door behind her, knowing full well this might be the last time I'm ever here. I look around remembering all the fond memories I have of this place, this backyard. I manage to scrape myself off the lawn and stumble to the road.

I look back at the O'Brien house, trying hard to imprint the image of it in my head. As I turn again, a familiar car pulls up in front of me. The window winds down and I see Rose behind the wheel.

"Wow, I'm so surprised to find you here," she deadpans, "get in before you catch pneumonia."

I open the door and sit in the passenger seat which she has already covered with a towel. I hardly think one towel will be enough considering how drenched I am.

"I thought you were angry at me," I shiver.

She drives away from the O'Brien house and I close my eyes for a second to picture it in my head.

"I am, but I'm still your best friend and that means I have the responsibility to help pick up the pieces of this mess you've made."

"I am the mess."

"Then I'll pick you up too. Listen carefully, Nora." She turns down the radio. "I will hear your side of the story. I will let you explain everything to me and let it all out so you can get it off your chest. I will keep my mouth shut until your done. Then, I will tell you you're an idiot for fucking everything up, and we will go get some ice cream and move on."

"Why would you do that for me? How can you still want to be around me?"

"Because, Nora, whenever I am in a dark place or when my mum is sicker than normal and I lash out at everyone around me, you are the one who is always there. I've said awful things to you and hurt not only myself, but you too. You are always there at the end to give me a hug and say it's going to be ok.
And it is always ok, if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be here lecturing you right now. So you are going to do what I say and we are going to get through this together. Understood?"

A tear slithers down my cheek. "Ok, Rosie. Thank you."

She shows a little smile and I smile back, so glad that I still have her.

~~~~~