pretend (phan)

four

Phil crinkled his nose at the scenery of the restaurant. "I don't even like Italian." The Howells had forced Herbert to drive the engaged couple to the nicest Italian restaurant in town, brushing it off as saying it was as way to get closer. So far, it wasn't going very well.

"Well I don't even like you, but we know how that went."

"Ouch," Phil responded, faking a pout. "Besides, you asked me on this date."

Dan furrowed his eyebrows. "I was forced to ask you to this date."

"Shut up while I order something expensive since you're paying for it."

Dan rolled his eyes and gave up on responding, instead figuring out what they were ordering and waving the waiter over. He rushed over with big eyes.

"Are you Dan Howell?" He asked. Dan chuckled, nodding. "It's an honor sir! Could I get a picture?"

"Sure," Dan shrugged, and the waiter took their selfie. During the selfie, Dan looked over the phone to see Phil glaring at him with his arms crossed. Daniel cleared his throat, finishing the picture. "So anyway, we are ready to order."

The waiter took their orders and scurried off, Phil still shooting his date an unimpressed look.

"He didn't even acknowledge me," he pouted.

"Just wait till we're married. You'll be all over magazines and in interviews, so enjoy the neglect while it lasts."

"What are you even famous for? Is it literally just for being rich?" Phil inquired, leaning his elbow on the table with his head in his hand.

"I guess so. My dad owns a lot of companies so he's just kind of admirable. And we're pretty charitable."

Phil uncrossed his arms. "We're going to my apartment after this. I want you to know what it's like to be an average person."

Dan nodded, and soon enough their food came. Dan neatly laid his napkin onto his lap, Phil simply slapping it over his legs and violently stabbing his fork into the spaghetti before him. He attempted to slurp up a noodle, the string of food swinging up and slapping him in the nose. Marinara sauce painted his cheeks and Phil began blushing, Dan trying to hold in his laugh.

Phil groaned in embarrassment, reaching over to slap Dan but, in the process, knocking over red wine onto the white tablecloth. Dan choked out from laughing, looking around to see nobody had noticed.

"Oh my god, we need to leave before this becomes more embarrassing than it already is." Phil looked over and quickly found the to-go boxes, snatching them and shoving their food in it.

"We haven't even paid!" Dan cried out while cracking up. His eyes were watering from laughing so hard. Phil's cheeks were redder than the sauce in front of him.

"Stop laughing! Take the table cloth and take it with you!"

"You are so dramatic," Dan giggled out, obliging and taking the table cloth. Dan slammed the money on the table before they ran out the restaurant, rushing to the car and sitting in it. All it was took was one moment of eye contact before they were bursting out in a fit of laughter again.

"That was romantic," Phil spoke sarcastically, putting his head in his hands. "Screw it, let's just go to my apartment. You'll get to meet my roommate."

They went to his apartment, the neighborhood nothing eye-catching. It was average apartments with average people in average clothing, and Dan felt content in the atmosphere. There was no demand to be wearing expensive brands or constantly trying to look nice in case paparazzi spotted him. People were themselves here.

They stepped out of the car, bringing the leftover food and following Phil to his room. Dan was practically dying while walking up the stairs, sweat making his hair curl and pants tumbling out of his lips.

"What? Are you used to people carrying you up the stairs of your mansion?"

"No," Dan replied. "We use the elevators."

Phil's lips formed in a tight line. "Even better."

They finally arrived to his room, Phil opening the door to reveal his roommate on his computer. Dan's eyes went wide at the sight of how many pictures of himself he saw. There were posters, framed pictures, and even a tattoo on the roommate's bare shoulder.

The stranger turned around and noticed Dan first, stiffening up as his jaw dropped.

"I. . . you. . . oh my god, I'm having a wet dream, aren't I?"

Phil facepalmed. "No, Tim, you aren't dreaming." Dan's cheeks heated up and was suddenly suffocating as the stranger's arms enveloped him in a tight hug.

When he pulled away from the hug, Tim took Dan's hand and violently shook it. "I'm a huge fan! I can't believe you're in front of me! Phil, did you pay him to come over here?"

"No, but I am getting paid to marry him."

"What?"

Dan spoke up. "Phil and I are getting married." Tim froze.

"You're gonna be married to Dan Howell?" Tim asked Phil, grabbing his roommate's shoulders and shaking them. "Why aren't you freaking out?"

"Because I'm not crazy over him. He's just a normal guy to me with a big ego and no sense of what real love feels like. I didn't ask to marry him."

Dan ignored the pain in his chest at Phil's harsh words, instead getting distracted when he heard a meow.

"Did you feed Tabs?"

"Yeah, but she barely ate because you were out all day."

Phil went behind the couch and bent down, standing back up to reveal a small, white kitten in his hands. "Dan, this is Tabs."

Daniel tried to ignore how cute the animal was, knowing his parents wouldn't allow an animal in their house if it shed. Dan reached out and slowly pet it, ready to drop his hand when Phil shoved the animal into his arms.

"Hello," Dan murmured softly, smiling at the animal before leaning down and brushing his nose over the ear of the kitten.

"You look like you just had a baby and you're admiring it," Tim spoke out, taking out his phone. "Wait, I'm taking a picture and making it my wallpaper."

"Did you never have a pet?" Phil piped in.

Dan simply ignored him, not wanting to talk about it before giving Tabs back to its rightful owner.

"No cats or any animals in our house."

"So no kids either?" Phil flirted.

Dan seriously wished he had the wine-stained table cloth to hide his red cheeks.