pretend (phan)

nine

(A/N: HEY ITS NOVEMBER FIFTH AKA MY BIRTHDAY SO HAVE THIS CHAPTER)

The honeymoon had ended, and even though Dan wanted to stay there forever, he supposed this was better because he wouldn't have to be falling for Phil so fast. This time, he'd have the excuse to get out of the house. It wasn't bad, really, I mean Dan had to love him eventually. But this was all too much and he was inexperienced.

Herb had picked them up at the airport and they drove back in silence. Tomorrow was Dan's birthday and they would visit his family, and honestly Dan was tired of all the forced socialization and just wanted to stay in his room and eat.

"You okay?" Phil questioned, looking over at Dan from his position against the window.

"I just don't fancy seeing my family tomorrow, as selfish as that may sound. I mean, they've controlled me my entire existence and now that I had freedom for once, now that we were in Japan for a week alone- I realized how much I craved the independence."

"At least you don't have to see them until tomorrow. You've got a break for now, cherish it."

Dan huffed and shut up.

ღ

They were in their new house now. Granted, it was on the same street as Dan's parents lived on, but they were finally free of them and it was already furnished and ready to go. Dan was sat on the couch, the vinyl playing in the background while he watched his husband cook.

He giggled when Phil began swaying his hips, pan handle in his hand as he cooked and danced.

"Impressive dance moves," Dan flirted. "Use those at the masquerade ball we're going to soon and you'll be just like Cinderella."

Phil blushed upon realizing that Dan was watching, rolling his eyes and laughing.

"Good to know you're watching. Pay up, this isn't a free show," Phil joked. Dan snickered and fell back on the couch, yawning. He was practically asleep when he heard a meow, squinting his eyes open to look at the kitten that was climbing over his chest.

"You brought Tabs?" Dan groaned, glaring at the cat in front of him.

"Well yeah," Phil spoke, walking into the living room to set down the food. Rather than eating in the dining room they decided to set up blankets and pillows and eat dinner in the living room. "She's family. You don't just ditch them."

Dan wouldn't have replied if he didn't hear the crack in Phil's voice at that last sentence. He knew there was a deeper meaning behind bringing Tabs to live with them, and Dan wanted to find out. So he spoke.

"Phil, what really happened?"

"I've told you before, although less open. And now that we're married, I guess there's no point in hiding things anymore," Phil exhaled. Dan sat up to show he was listening, watching Tabs climb onto Phil's lap and purr. "When I was younger, I was always rebellious. I never wanted to listen and I always wanted to be independent. So I moved out for a place of my own but lost my job, and my parents refused to help pay rent to prove their point that I wasn't responsible enough. So my stubborn self became homeless and struggled to find a job. When I finally could afford an apartment dorm, I went to visit my family to tell them the news. But when I got there, they weren't there. Just an empty house. I called them and got no answer, so I waited. And then the neighbors told me they moved out. And I haven't heard from them since."

"How long ago was that?"

"A few years. Tabs was a stray cat I found when I was homeless, so I took her in and she's the only family I have at this point."

"But I am your family."

"But you- we were forced to be a family, Dan. Tabs felt like a sign that I was going to get better. And I know she's just a kitten, but I was so damn alone. I cried myself to sleep on the benches of parks, my meal on Christmas was freaking McDonald's. I've forgotten what it feels like to be loved or cared for. It's not just money I want you for. I want you because you taught me how to smile again."

Dan barely knew what it say. Before he could respond, Phil continued with tears in his eyes.

"I wasn't ready for marriage but I was ready to feel something. I was willing to give up the rest of my life to you if it meant I'd be happy, y'know?"

"Phil, that's not healthy-"

"I know it's not, but it's turned out so much better than I thought. Because of you. So maybe marriage doesn't end up well, but we could always make it look like it does."

"What do you presume married couples do?"

"Well they hold hands," Phil began, reaching down and taking his husband's hand. "And they lean on each other- emotionally and physically," he leaned his head on Dan's shoulder. "And they laugh with each other," Dan tickled Phil to emphasize his point, the two of them giggling. "And. . ."

The couple made eye contact. "And they kiss."

Then it happened. Their lips collided, and maybe they weren't ready but damn this was too good to stop because this wasn't forced or uncomfortable. This wasn't for the public or paparazzi or magazines. This was just them, only Dan and Phil, and their mouths moulded together like a slanted hug and closed.

Daniel had completely disregarded anything in his head or his surroundings, ignoring the dinner on the floor in front of him and the way they were both sitting criss-crossed with socks on and sweaters that they so desperately wanted to pull on.

Dan reached up and nervously placed his hands on Phil's jawline, hesitant until Phil placed his hands over Dan's for reassurance. They pecked a few more times before pulling away.

Phil's eyes slowly opened, meeting Dan's. A smile creeped unto their faces until he spoke up. "You just kissed me."

Dan blushed. "I suppose I just did, yes."

Phil laughed. "So what else do married couples do?"

"Well I mean, they love each other."

"We're not there yet then."

"Thank God," Dan exhaled. "I feared we'd start confessing our undying love for each other."

"Never."

Then they laughed until their stomachs hurt, their backs hitting the blankets beneath them and nearly knocking over the dinner Phil had made. And this was their type of love. And maybe, in this case, the better one.