I Saw Her Scars

Chapter 1

Saw Her Scars

Chapter 1

I sat up on my bed, staring out at the window. Contemplating life, I sat there in a lifeless state, my chest being only thing to move as a result of my breathing.

I could never forget the words I heard Connor say at the cafeteria the other day. Did I really kill her?

I grew up in a Christian home, where we were told the Ten Commandments were what determined if we were worthy of God's kingdom of Heaven. One of those commandments was that "one shall not kill." That is one of the commandments I always scoffed at and ignored. It was not that hard a commandment to keep, all I had to do was not become insane like Michael Myers or Jack Torrance and I would be fine. I guess I now realize that that commandment was a lot more complex than I realized.

What would happen to my life now? Ever since she came into my best friends life he started to change, my life started to change. I hated change; things were perfect just the way they were. Now that she's dead, he would never forgive me. He would never glance my way again.

Graduation was coming up in a month. I was not prepared for change after change to happen so fast. I was a hot shot in school, I seemed to always get things to go the way I wanted. But now that life won't be like that anymore, now what?

Did I even have any real friends now? Connor probably never wants to see or speak to me again. Alice was a bitch stuck up in her own ways who I only put up with because of Connor. Harry was now dating her, which means that I really did not want to talk to him either. I knew Alice would keep his hands full.

I was popular, a lot of people would have died just to speak to me. But they were never my real friends and as much as I hated to admit it, I was alone. That's the thing about change, things can be perfectly fine one second, and become a disaster the next.

Suddenly, I heard a knock on my door. That was enough to get me out of my contemplative trance and get out of the same position I was in for the last hour.

I opened the door and was immediately greeted by a punch in the face.

"Geez!" I said clutching my cheek.

"WHY WEREN'T YOU THERE?" He shouted at me.

"Dude, calm dow--"

"WHY WEREN'T YOU THERE? DO YOU NOT CARE ABOUT ANYONE BUT YOURSELF?"

"You know that's not tr--"

"YOU KILLED HER! YOU KILLED HER AND DID NOT HAVE THE DECENCY TO EVEN ATTEND HER FUNERAL!" he was about to throw another punch at me but I was able to grab him and hold him back.

"Connor, you do not understand what I have been through these past couple of days."

"YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE HAS BEEN THROUGH HER WHOLE LIFE!"

"Con--"

"WHEN I SAW THE WHOLE ENTIRE SCHOOL AT HER FUNERAL, I WAS SO OVERJOYED. SHE WAS FINALLY GETTING THE RESPECT SHE DESERVED. BUT I NOTICED THAT ONE PERSON WAS NOT THERE TO PAY THEIR RESPECTS. GUESS WHO THAT WAS?"

"Bro, lower your voice. Please."

"Okay. Only because my throat hurts, not because you asked me to. But you know what hurts more than not paying Emma her respects? The fact that I am confronting you about it and you are not even apologizing. You are instead trying to feel sorry for your own self."

"It's human nature, isn't it? I mean, look at you. You are so focused on your own problems, not listening to what I have to say. You will only listen to what you want to hear, not what I had to say."